This Bad Lip Reading of Twilight Makes the Movie So Much Better

"You slapped a fish. You punched it. Why would you you hit it?"

UGH. If only the real Twilight Saga had this scintillating of dialogue.

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I think, without even going into any themes here, my biggest problem with Twilight was how poorly written and repetitive it was. I'm not even joking. I picked it up to read it because everyone was bashing it and I wanted to give it a chance, and if you stripped out 95% of the times Bella mentions, in some way, how beautiful Edward is and how amazing his eyes are, you'd have a book that was literally about a hundred pages lighter. It was obnoxious.

I think I read three quarters of the second book and gave up because by then her EXTREME MOPE (seriously, even Howl of Howl's Moving Castle would be like "Wow, that's some over the top mope) of Edward not being around got to me because NEITHER OF THEM HAS A PERSONALITY. How can you miss Edward when the sum total of being around him consists of discussing your relationship? They couldn't even watch a goddamn movie without Edward turning it into some metaphor. They never talk about anything other than how much they love each other, or do anything that doesn't involve laying around staring into each other's eyes. Literally! That's not a relationship. That's BORING.