Karlie Kloss is best known to the world as fashion’s last true pre-Instagram supermodel, a six-foot-one glamazon who has walked every major runway and helmed countless campaigns based on her imposing presence, undeniable charisma, and feline smize. She is also an entrepreneur and a philanthropist, using her earnings to start a line of baked goods for charity called Karlie’s Kookies, a tech nonprofit for girls called Kode with Klossy, and her own YouTube channel called Klossy. But did you know that she also has three sisters?
Last week, after watching several Klossy YouTube videos, I went through the supermodel’s sisters Instagrams in what would become a slight internet k-hole—literally, since Karlie Kloss’s sisters are named, in order, Kristine Kloss, Kariann Kloss, and Kimberly Kloss, the latter of whom are twins. Here’s what I deduced about them, solely by looking at Instagram.
The eldest of the Klossiers, Kristine works for Marc Jacobs Beauty. She is really into her sisters, David Bowie, Mark Rothko, Taylor Swift (“an awesome night”), and California, where she lives with her soul mate. That is pretty cool.
Younger sister of Karlie; twins with Kimberly. Loves animals; “crazy cat enthusiast”; is probably a zoologist (I think). Has an attractive “love of [her life” who might be slightly sus, though, because he’s into roping, which seems counterintuitive to loving the animals. Loves Jane Goodall, got to meet Jane Goodall at the CFDA Awards. Paints. Probably has a good sense of humor. Likes nature.
Younger sister of Karlie; twins with Kariann. The more public of the non-Karlie Klossiers, Kimberly Kloss seems to be living the jet-set lifestyle and loving it. Hangs out with Martin Garrix. Hangs out (??) with Brooklyn Decker. I would provide evidence but in the two days I spent “researching” this post, she made her Instagram private. Might be psychic. (I have requested to follow.) Based on Twitter, lives in Paris and enjoys wine, painting, the Cardinals (the Kloss family is from St. Louis), and the TODAY Show.
Kimby also enjoys Halo Top ice cream, which Karlie has spoken about liking as well. Earlier this year, Karlie told adidas.com, “I currently have an obsession with Halo Top ice cream. There’s nothing like indulging in a chocolate craving, and the almond milk ice cream and dark chocolate are my kryptonite.” She reiterated her love for Halo Top in the profile in her recent InStyle cover, saying “I’ll smash a whole pint. I have a sweet tooth.”
Halo Top has less calories (around 240 per pint) because it has erythritol and stevia in place of most of its sugar; I have eaten it and it tastes like super-sweet ice cream with the consistency of an ice-cold lined sheet of notebook paper. Extremely low calories, though to me it’s like satisfying your sweet tooth by spraying yourself with Demeter Sugar Cookie perfume.
There’s only so much one can know from looking at a person’s Instagram from afar, even when you know the person but especially when you do not. The inseparable Klossiers prove this point, and beg the question: Do any of us know anyone at all?