There Are Too Many Cruel Intentions

Image via Columbia Pictures
Image via Columbia Pictures

In February, it was reported that NBC had ordered a series based on Cruel Intentions, the 1999 movie that helped many of us discover true horniness for the first time. In May, they announced the series at their upfronts, but it was then nowhere to be seen on their fall schedule. There are now too many Cruel Intentions clogging up the works.


Slash Film reports that NBC Entertainment President Jennifer Salke has been unable to find a place to fit the show on the network, and has been exploring digital streaming services for its debut. This means two things:

  1. Extending contracts for Sarah Michelle Gellar (and all), who will be returning as an older and wiser version of the girl who gave her step-brother a very subtle lap dance.
  2. Developing two versions of the show simultaneously—one that’s broadcast-friendly and one that will show a whole hell of a lot more female nipples. Netflix loves nipples.

Salke told reporters, “If it ends up on some alternative platform, we would have more leeway, but it is designed to be dishy and fun and push the envelope as far as sexuality. It’s not something we’re inviting kids in to watch.”

Oh, but they will. Either way, NBC is not giving up, despite the absence of the show from their schedule. They’re just drowning in intentions:

“We wouldn’t have held that talent if we didn’t have every intention of finding the opportunity for the show,” Salke said. “I love it. We picked up the options for the actors. We’re determined to find a place for the show. It was a crowded schedule right now and we’re looking at possibly a digital play or something on the network but we haven’t figured it out yet. But we have all intentions, non-cruel intentions to not be cruel to the show.”

They should do both, and then you have to subscribe to Hulu to know exactly how naughty things got. I should be a TV executive.


The Ghost of James Madison's Rage Boner

Netflix loves nipples.

I don’t know if the Buffy fan in me could handle seeing SMG’s nipples.