The World's Most Ridiculous Press Release

Illustration for article titled The World's Most Ridiculous Press Release

We know publishing and book marketing follow a formula that involves mashing up previously successful books. We know self-help involves bullet points, and that Ladies Love Makeovers. We know paranormal and memoir (novel/memoir even!) remain sought-after genres. The people behind this book know all of these things too, and faced with a buffet of options, chose all of the above.

From: [Redacted]
Date: Tue, May 3, 2011 at 11:44 AM
Subject: How to Embrace Your Inner Witch - Eat, Pray, Love on High Octane in New Book from Tarcher/Penguin - British Author New to US Avail May 11-14
To: [me]

Irin, are you a woman in total control of herself or is that someone you know? Below are the top five, tattle-tale signs according to a new Tarcher/Penguin book written by Britain's best-selling, self-help author on clinical hypnotherapy Ursula James of You Can Think Yourself Thin and You Can Be Amazing (Century, Random House):

1. You reserve love for those who enrich and nourish you
2. You create time to love yourself, warts and all
3. You are the creator of your future rather than a victim of past events
4. You follow your gut, you trust your instincts
5. You are a source of inspiration to yourself and others

A check mark next to any one of these would have, in medieval times, banished and burned you at the stake as a witch. But, just like vampires and wizards who have risen to popularity out of Harry Potter and The Twilight Series, you too have withstood the test of time and now stand today as a woman-in-total-control of herself – as a WITCH again! Your story, her story, the witch's story is now revealed in a new self help, memoir and novel rolled into one and called The Source: A Journey to the Heart of Your Own Personal Power.

The experience is comparable to the feel good elements of Eat, Pray, Love, the magnetic elements of The Secret and a road-trip likened to The Celestine Prophecy. However, this new book, named The Source, goes further with a sprinkle of The Da Vinci Code, a dab of The Scarlet Letter and a dusting of Henry VIII to enhance how A Journey to the Heart of Your Own Personal Power can work for you.

The book enrolls you in a spiritual boot-camp – one that, without any expense, flies you around the world to "the source" of your own personal power, a place where dreams are made, where the past is forgiven and, through "mind magic," the impossible becomes possible! The author is proof of it and she comes from the most unlikely of sources, the intellectual British therapeutic medical community.

Author, Ursula James, is new to US audiences, but in the UK, she ranks among Britain's leading clinical hypnotherapists and wrote the first textbook for medical practitioners on the topic. Her textbook is required reading at Oxford and Cambridge where she also lectures and teaches. Ursula and her highly accredited team affectionately refer to the practice of hypnotherapy as "mind magic," the backbone behind The Source.

The memoir, novel side of the book is of a modern day career girl in London until mid-life throws her off balance, questioning all that went before. It takes a failed marriage, financial ruin and lost childbearing years before Ursula puts aside all rational thought and hears the voice of the 16th century prophetess. The Oxford, Cambridge Ursula doesn't seem like a candidate receptive to hearing dead people talking to her but here she now stands as a conduit to the musings of a dead witch, destined to reveal century old secrets and stop others from going up in smoke too.

Some of those musings we reveal here as "8 Tips to a Summer Spiritual Makeover" offering the "how to" on embracing your inner witch.

1. Clear your path, warts and all Clear out what belonged to the person you no longer want to be. A traveler moves best when traveling light.
2. Eyes on the future, your path binds fast Decide to go. Strength for the journey starts here while there is still time to change the future.
3. Look within for without you wither Choose ill; remain barely alive. The things you choose to do, or not to do, will determine the speed you travel.
4. Self love begins when self harm ends One of the most difficult but most magical kinds of love is the love of self. Fuel for the journey is in the natural potion of love.
5. Sever the knot, not tease at the threads Unleash the past or it will hold you back. You are not your past.
6. Silence the skies, listen to your heart Never book anything over "me" time. You will always feel better for it.
7. Paper money only burns Move forward rich in life. Money doesn't hold enough magic to fix bad health or unhealthy relationships.
8. Count your blessings lest you lose the lot Be thankful that you made the decision to travel – to become a woman in total control herself. Insert "b" for "w," what do you get? A "Babe-in-total-control-of-herself" – the true essence of The Source!


"Her textbook is required reading at Oxford and Cambridge where she also lectures and teaches."

Yeah, because she's that one teacher you get that FORCES you and the class to buy their overpriced tome that becomes prime doorstop material the minute the class is done.

I HATED instructors who pulled this fuckery.