The Try Guys Are Out Here Still Trying

The three surviving Try Guys are still processing the trauma of their friend getting distracted and having a consensual workplace affair. Two of the guys, Keith Habersberger and Zach Kornfield, recorded a podcast episode that once again stole from the Taylor Swift school of moody and reflective lowercase titles called, “ok, let’s talk about it.”

Eugene Lee Yang, known to me for looking absolutely furious in the “what happened” Youtube video, did not drop in on the pod because, “to be totally open and frank, Eugene does not like doing podcasts,” explained Kornfield. Thank GOD for the honesty because I can’t take another moment of the Try Guys hiding anything from me…

And they really aren’t. Kornfield revealed that the whole ordeal has been literally gut wrenching. “My BMs have been wild. The stress poops have been out of control.” Alright!

---

Meanwhile, Tucker Carlson interviewed Kanye West on Thursday night—as the kids would say: nightmare blunt rotation. The interview was the inevitable collision of two maniacal men who’ve made careers out of having tantrums then taunting, “I’m not touching you, I’m not touching you.”

The two discussed West’s controversial “White Lives Matter” T-shirts that he wore alongside Candace Owens at Paris Fashion Week and the backlash that ensued. As you might imagine, the discussion made it feel like the barren cement walls of West’s warehouse were closing in on your few remaining brain cells. West compared wearing the shirt to Tonya Harding doing a “triple flip of the triple spin”: “I just channel the energy. It just feels right. It’s using a gut instinct, connection with God and just brilliance.” I’d believe the analogy more if he likened his stunt to Harding’s infamous sabotage of Nancy Kerrigan.

The interview kicked off with Carlson complimenting West’s ID badge, which had a photo of a baby’s ultrasound—I’m guessing those are not is the security credentials you need to gain access to the Fox News studio lot. West then went on a paranoid rant about Twitter bots (“That’s a term for telemarketers on the internet,” he said, incorrectly) encouraging Lizzo to gain weight. “The bots, they attack her because the media wants to put out a perception that being overweight is the new goal, when it’s actually unhealthy,” West said.

---

• Rest in peace to the Love Goddess. The inimitable comedian Judy Tenuta passed away yesterday at 72. [New York Times]
• Quadruple the fun! Tia and Tamera Lowry once babysat the Olsen twins. [People]
• Coolio’s kids are turning his ashes into necklaces and I think that is lovely! [TMZ]
• We’re about a year away from reading Jada Pinkett Smith’s memoir. Long live the slap discourse! [CNN]