The Tom Cruise Fake Butt Speculation Is Tremendous

Screenshot: Youtube
Screenshot: Youtube

A Twitter user has done the world a great public service in freeze-framing this moment from Tom Cruise’s 2008 WWII thriller Valkyrie, in which his booty suddenly appears pillowy and engorged and, quite frankly, unreal. I’m ashamed I didn’t catch this myself, seeing as I watched practically all of Valkyrie on mute many years ago.


Other Twitter users immediately piled on with their own fake butt speculation, the most popular theory being that it’s a stunt-double bum, generously padded for action. However, if you watch the full clip of the scene (pause four minutes and forty-nine seconds in), you will see that Cruise is getting up after being flung to the ground by distant bomb impact, not ducking or rolling or…anything.

Could it be Cruise’s real butt (no)? CGI? Historically accurate in some way I don’t understand? Is it the extraterrestrial within exuberantly ballooning forth for one brief, uncanny moment? I am genuinely curious and open to all conspiracy theories.

[Page Six]

Kim Kardashian is receiving copious snake spam from Swift supporters, this is so dumb, make it sssssstop.


[Refinery 29]

  • Here’s Bruce Springsteen topless on David Geffen’s yacht. [TMZ]
  • Jessica Alba threw a unicorn-themed birthday party for her 6-year-old daughter, sponsored…I mean, “inspired” by her lifestyle company. [People]
  • Joshua Jackson has a new model girlfriend and some fresh produce. [Us Weekly]
  • Steven Soderbergh’s seven-part original limited Netflix series has a premiere date all lined up. [Variety]
  • Haha a book of photography titled What I See, that’s rich. [Page Six]
  • This Scott Baio interview predictably demeans everyone, including Scott Baio. [THR]
  • Katherine McPhee is suing over the nude photo hack. [People]

contributing writer, nights



is there any chance that Tyler Hoechlin was tom’s stunt double on that film? because, i mean...