Will democracy fall? Is this the end of America? I don’t know, but I do know that it is still Harry Styles Week*, and there’s no shortage of gold to pan from the singer’s deep and eternally replenishing placer deposit, a gift from him to the universe. This time: It is gloves.
Look, I know One Direction has been on an indefinite hiatus for years. And, as a responsible celebrity, Styles is currently resisting the urge to bombard news organizations with new stuff, staying mostly quiet this election cycle save for the announcement that if he could vote in this country, he’d vote “with kindness” —meaning, for centrist Joe Biden—but I’m still finding reasons to talk about the boy. (Okay, so he never really actively bombards news organizations: My boyfriend loves a 1970s brand of rock ‘n’ roll mystique, and would Bowie himself to space if he could, but alas, no one in the boy band story ever eludes the tabloids.)
Still, with everything presently happening in the world, Harry hasn’t fully exited the pop culture conversation. Exhibit A, the image taken from his Instagram above, in which Styles wears an oversized powder blue suit jacket, a sharp vertical striped work shirt, patterned bottoms, and—white doily-ass, lace-y fashion gloves. He’s even got one in his mouth, middle finger extended, seducing the viewer while simultaneously offering a subtle “fuck you.” Surely in a few years, this particular Instagram post will be dissected in a collegiate-level art history and cultural criticism course. It is that breathtaking.
But beyond the majesty of his image are his... well, gloves. They’re beautiful! Look how they effortlessly elevate his ensemble from “Italian dad on a Spring Day” to “Italian dad enjoying Romana Sambuca Liqueur in his evening espresso after spending the day at Milan fashion week.” It’s great! And inspiring—now is the time to invest in stylish gloves. Believe you me.
Case in point: Early on in social distancing, I wore latex gloves everywhere—which my tia in Puerto Rico had to send to me as they were impossible to find in New York City, tell that to your racist uncle—because I believed it would stop the spread of covid-19. Obviously, face masks are what you really need to concern yourself with wearing, but surgical gloves did make me more aware of my surroundings, what I touched, and completely prohibited me from accidentally stroking my face. I stopped after a while, opting for lathering my meaty form in a healthy layer of hand sanitizer instead of baking my ham hock hands in unbreathable plastic all day, but now I think Styles offers a solid alternative. Fashion gloves: Good for your fit, good for the world—put ‘em on before leaving your home and take them off (and wash them!) when you return. No germs spread here, and plus, you look so good, dahhhling. A win-win. Yet another way Harry Styles is improving the planet.
*I’m writing a lot of blogs about Harry Styles. Why? Because he is a beacon of light and joy, and it’s better than day drinking and losing my job.