Image: Getty

Yes, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade is a hellscape of capitalism wherein children are indoctrinated into early submission by adorable dinosaurs sponsored by oil companies, but let’s discuss the alternative: this New York City Thanksgiving parade in 1961, pre-Macy’s, when every “fun” children’s character looked vaguely homicidal, if not serially so.

Even familiar figures had an air of foreboding.

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These girls know shit ain’t right.

Get me out of here!