The Psychology Of Scandals
LatestAround the time the married governor of a populous northeastern state resigned following revelations about high-priced call girls, a man I was having dinner with said that any man who claimed he’d never been to a prostitute was lying.
“Really?” I said, adjusting my expression into studied neutrality while speculating inwardly about what special services were required that he couldn’t find anyone willing to perform gratis — after all, he wasn’t bad-looking (though one also hears it said that men aren’t actually paying prostitutes for the sex, they’re paying them to leave afterward). While I can’t claim to be someone who musters vast outrage about the existence of prostitution (the issue should be unionization), this admission still took me aback: for one thing, I barely knew the man; also the contention that “everyone does it” seemed miscalculated, since even if they do, they’re not routinely confessing it to their female dining companions. Maybe he mistook me for the nonjudgmental type as I’ve occasionally written on what might be called “transgressive” subjects, which does sometimes lead people to share such things with me unbidden. This is clearly a mistake on their parts since I can be a bit of a gossip, not to mention the fact that I habitually stash revealing sociological tidbits like this one away in a mental filing drawer for possible use in as yet notional articles or books that I may eventually write, not being one of those scandalous nonfiction writers you keep hearing about who just make things up (or not usually), a subject we’ll be getting to.
Presumably my dinner companion hadn’t paused to consider the potential transmission routes of the implied self- revelation before dropping it into the conversation; most likely he wasn’t thinking much at all, it just “came out” — after all, the amount of sheer unconsciousness on display in the average social interaction would definitely overload the capacities of any device invented to quantify it. In the absence of such a device, we have our internal cringe meters, which shrill more and more frequently these days, given people’s predilection for confessing their grubby secrets to passing acquaintances or even complete strangers: on talk shows, in their umpteenth memoir, at twelve-step meetings — it’s like a national compulsion. Which brings me to why I mention this conversation. Scandal and compulsive unbosoming have a distinct family resemblance when you think about it: people driven to publicize their secret desires, for shadowy reasons and regardless of their own best interests.
“No mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.” The author (no surprise) was Sigmund Freud, the world’s great exponent on the art of self-betrayal, a topic that will prove relevant to our investigations. Notice how viscous he makes the whole thing sound: betrayal doesn’t trickle or drip or bleed, it oozes, mucuslike (or worse). His point is that humans can’t seem to help spilling unwitting clues all over the place about the mess of embarrassing conflicts and metaphysical anguishes lodged within, though the viscosity of the substance in question will interest anyone who’s ever struggled to quash some delinquent libidinal urge — presumably this would be everyone. The fact is that people are leaky vessels in every sense, which seems like a good starting point for a book on the subject of scandals, or, more specifically, certain people’s proclivity for getting into them.
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