The Olympic Anti-Sex Beds Aren’t Anti-Sex Beds, and These Cute Mexican Athletes Are Going to Prove It

Let’s get this out of the way from the jump: The rumor that the Olympic organizing committee constructed anti-sex beds made of cardboard to prevent athletes from fucking non-stop in the Olympic village—as tradition dictates—is just that, a rumor. The beds are made of tough cardboard for sustainability purposes, and despite urging Olympians to avoid unnecessary physical contact due to covid-19, there isn’t a “no fucking in Tokyo 2021″ edict. But that hasn’t stopped it from becoming an ongoing meme among the athletes.

Enter Jesús Angulo, José Esquivel, and Adrián Mora, three members of the Mexican Olympic soccer team. Toward the end of a vlog documenting the team’s arrival in Tokyo, the three men decide to test out the durability of the beds by leaping onto them, together.

Teamwork makes the dream work, but more importantly, these beds are ready for a trip (or 20) to pound town. The Olympics may not be distributing alcohol to athletes this year, but they’re still handing out loads of condoms.

Whether the beds are comfortable, however, appears up for debate. From Newsweek:

In [a Tiktok video, New Zealand swimmer Lewis Clareburt] and fellow swimmer Ali Galyer deconstruct a mattress to reveal a surprise beneath. Rather than one complete mattress, the bed is shown to consist of three separate panels made out of a substance that closely resembles Styrofoam.

[…]

On closer inspection, Galyer discovers the three panels offer varying degrees of comfort.

While the panel found around the headboard is by far the most soft and spongy, the other two are considerably harder.

In fact, the panel found at the foot of the bed is shown on camera to be the most rigid of the three.

When Galyer says she wants all of her panels to be super-soft, Clareburt jokes: “You can’t have that. We can’t have nice things.”

Look, beggers can’t be choosers. Do you want comfort or do you wanna bang your way through the pandemic Olympics?