The 'Most Extraordinary Baby Names' 0f 2013 are Totally Effing Bonkers

The Bounty Parenting Club has released its annual list of Most Extraordinary Baby Names, and it it is quite extraordinary indeed. Trends include: common nouns that are not human names, other nouns that have been misspelled, abstract concepts and companies.

Lisa Penney, spokesman for Bounty, told the Daily Mail, “Celebrities are renowned for choosing unusual names for
their offspring, and our records show that some parents are following
this trend in an effort to stand out from the crowd with a name no other
child is likely to have in the playground.” But then she cautioned, “Parents do need to bear in mind that a really individual name can be a
lot to live up to if you don’t grow up to be rich or famous!” Um, someone please tell that to LOHAN THE BOY.

The most unusual boys’ name list included Victory, Prosper, Perseus, Luck, Kassius, Lohan, Bramwell and Denton. (DENTON!!!) The most unusual girls’ list had on it Tea, Vogue, Tru, Pinky, Pheonix, Puppy, Purdy, Pepsi, Peppa and Nirvana. From this we have gleaned that literally any word or trademarked phrase can become a human name if you just put your mind to it. The power of the human spirit and imagination is simply unimpeachable.

With that in mind, here are some predictions for the Most Extraordinary Baby Names of 2014:

Merkin
Wife of Bath
Scrilex
Pestilence
Birkenstock
Cronut
Lucifer
Placenta
Squirrel
Hoobastank
Dorito
iPhone 4S
Medoosa