Public transportation is a necessary evil. It’s good for the environment! It reduces traffic congestion! It benefits the community financially! It saves you money! But it is also a microcosm of all facets of humanity, much of which involve human waste. This week, I want to hear all about the most disgusting and disturbing, er, “ events” you’ve witnesses on public transportation. Get gross, Jezebel commenters!
But first, let’s look at last week’s winners. These are your best Valentine’s Day stories.
doughtato, yes! So sweet:
Last year my boyfriend and I had a Witcher themed Valentine’s. I ordered a medieval looking dress from Etsy and got some turkey legs and mead and we ate without using utensils. We didn’t really look anything up about the time period (and obviously it’s a fantasy show anyways) so it was super inaccurate but really fun. I still make the turkey legs recipe from time to time, they taste really good and they’re fun to eat.
BeaBun, I enjoyed these, thank you for sharing:
My sweetest story is not from a girlfriend or a boyfriend, but rather just from a very kind man.
I was a part-time student, working full time, and my mother had regained interest in her younger children, so I was slowly, and anxiously easing myself into letting her take full-time responsibility back for them. This, like many times in my life, was not a good time. I was stressed all the time.
There was a guy my age in my classes. (Same work schedule) He was interested in me, but didn’t push it after I told him I didn’t have time to think about a relationship. He just kind of accepted it, but continued to be a good classmate, walking me out to my car at night in the empty parking lot. Valentine’s Day fell on a school night, and he walked me to my car. Then, he pulled out a little pink-and-white stuffed dog holding a rose. For me. This was not a Grand Romantic Gesture on his part. He was already starting to see someone else.
He just knew I was under a lot of stress, and wanted to do something nice for me. I still have that little dog, ten years later.
Funniest Valentine’s Day stories were when I was a florist. (I’m a 31-year-old millenial, I’ve had a lot of jobs) V-Day was a carefully planned operation, but for every guy acting like a jerk about it, there would be ten who were quite happy to just get their partner some flowers. One guy comes in around noon, on his lunch break, and is looking over arrangements. Me and my coworker were standing near a table, and asked if he needed any help picking something out. “Yeah. My wife’s not a big Valentine’s Day person, but I don’t want her to think I don’t appreciate her. If one of you could just put togethersomething pretty? She likes pink and blue a lot, like that one.” He then pointed to an arrangement.
That was not pink and blue. It was in fact orange and green. (Some people don’t like pink, not even for Valentine’s Day! No judgement, we tried to have a lot of options)
Me and my coworker looked at each other, like, “You see the correct colors, too? I’m not having a stroke?”
The man then sighed and went, “It’s not pink and blue, is it?”
“Yeah, I’m colorblind, I was guessing. Can one of you pick me out a nice pink and blue one?”
The teenage boy who came in at 5pm with his dad. His dad looked tired. The teenager looked surly. The dad brought him up to the counter and asked “Do you have any roses left?” We did, just not red by that hour. He said that was fine. Six roses and whatever filler we have left. (Not a lot by 5pm) His son then said “Dad, it’s not a big deal!” Helooked at us, and asked, “Ladies, tell me, if your boyfriend of ten months showed up on both Valentine’s Day /and your birthday/, without flowers, would you have been disappointed?”
I mean, yeah. Duh. My coworker was like, “I would have broken up with you. It’s her birthday.” The teenager eyed us. His dad, handing over his credit card: “I am just trying to save you from yourself, buddy. Nevaeh is a nice girl.”
Ken Yadiggit, there is always the future:
I recently broke up with my partner of 5+ years after coming to the realization (or, as I also look at it, finally accepting) that I am gay.
I am now living back at my mothers house, which while isn’t ideal in the grand life plan, did come at a good time during a pandemic where I find myself privileged to have a secure and safe place to live and save some money.
I had always said, I don’t care about Valentines...but I’m realizing now I was cool towards the holiday because I never expected much. My past partners were selfish, inattentive, and constantly in crisis. So my needs were never first, nor was the idea that maybe I’d like to be doted on too. I refused love and care so much, under the guise that I was independent and cool. It was really that I had such low self-esteem and such hatred for myself that I didn’t believe I deserved it. And I picked partners to match that sentiment.
So this weekend my mother and I will share a bottle of champagne, order some terrible food and probably watch Gilmore Girls for the 5000th time. I am finally in a place where I look forward to the future, to meeting and falling in love with the woman of my dreams, and finally allowing myself to be loved in return. In the end, I am looking forward to the fact that, well, I haven’t had my Best Valentines yet. And that, to me, is exciting.
Get graphic below.