Ugh, time to make new plans for May 5. I know you were all planning to scrounge around your house for bits of loose change and then trundle over to the Met Gala, where you would gain admittance in exchange for a pittance and little jig. Unfortunately, Anna Wintour has upped the ticket price from $15,000 (HA! I WIPE MY ASS WITH $15,000!) to $25,000 (very expensive) in order to make the event "more aspirational."

As a source tells Page Six, "Increasing the ticket price will make the Met Gala even more high-fashion, even more exclusive and even more aspirational." Good thinking! Now it's even more aspirational than ever to to see celebrities willfully misunderstanding a very simple theme (PUNK = SAFETY PINS... AND... SEERSUCKER?!). How aspirational, quantitatively? More aspirational per capita than the American poverty level! Fashion!

One wonders who, exactly, this price hike was meant to keep out. The Huffington Post offers up Kim Kardashian as a potential undesirable; somewhere in the world, Kim Kardashian is laughing quietly at the very idea as she feeds balled-up $100 bills to her child.

Anyway, if anyone wants to join me, I will be outside of the event with my coven attempting to summon the vengeful spirit of Karl Marx — or, like, at the very least, I'll be spelling "DEATH 2 COMMODITY FETISHISM" on the sidewalk out of burning floral gleeves.

"Met Gala Tickets Get More Expensive To Make Event 'Even More Exclusive'" [HuffPo]
Image via Getty.