Image: Associated Press

No human should damn a friend to fake having a great time at The Club, let alone drag horses into it. This week we found out what happens when you do that, thanks to an incident in Miami.

On Thursday evening, footage surfaced of a woman riding a horse into Miami’s Mokai Lounge, the horse bucking her off and walking away, probably in the direction of home. Which means prior to this tweet, this woman obtained a horse in the night, rode across traffic eastbound toward South Beach on a horse, possibly stood in long lines on/with the horse, breezed past the bouncer with a horse, and then rode into the club, unannounced, on a horse.

I can speak only to the Northeastern area, but wildlife doesn’t seem like a demographic big on tripping their faces off in boozy mobs and loving it, and people circulated a petition to the Miami police to take action. The petition garnered nearly 3,000 signatures, and on Friday, hours after seeing the video, Mayor Dan Gelber announced that Mokai Lounge has been closed due to what he calls “insane stupidity.”

Authorities tell the Miami Herald that they found the horse on Friday night “healthy and safe,” but it’s unclear where. They know who owns the horse but also will not disclose until the conclusion of the animal cruelty investigation.

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Hope you got home okay, horse.