Illustration for article titled The Hamburglar Was Caught Red Hambed

Early on Friday, a man in Washington, D.C., broke into a Five Guys. He proceeded to cook himself a cheeseburger. I get it.


ABC News reports that my new boyfriend didn’t even steal any money:

The burglar followed a delivery man into the restaurant and waited until he left before going inside, according to the Metropolitan Police Department.

Once inside, the man treated himself to a fountain beverage before cooking what appeared to be a run-of-the-mill cheeseburger. He stole a bottled water before leaving.


Personally, I’d break into a Bareburger first. What are your top five burger joints you’d commit a felony to eat in? Would you cross state lines with a side of fries?

Image via ABC News.

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Contributing Writer, writing my first book for the Dial Press called The Lonely Hunter, follow me on Twitter @alutkin

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