The Girls Are STILL Fighting

“New year, same old me,” is probably what the hosts of The View had to say when they logged on to their group Zoom telecast this morning. New mother and longstanding menace Meghan McCain is back, and with her comes the same, tired dynamic that has plagued this show since its inception, and enriched both ABC and its hosts. “Democrats” vs. “Republicans,” “Moms” vs. “Not Moms,” “Blondes” vs. “Everyone Else.” It’s a show entrenched in dichotomies and divisions.

McCain, as always, chose violence for her first week back at The View. As did Joy Behar, who has spent the latter part of her career bickering with blonde Republican heiresses in front of a national audience. Monday’s feud concerned paid maternity leave, while Tuesday’s feud revolved around Congress… or workplace politics… or professional decorum… or sarcasm… actually, it wasn’t really clear what Behar and McCain were actually fighting about.

After a brief back and forth, and a series of cutaways, McCain declared that Behar must have missed her “so much, you missed fighting with me” to which Behar then loudly shouted back: “I did not miss you!” Sunny Hostin and Sarah Haines futilely tried to insert themselves between the two, while Whoopi banged her metaphorical Zoom gavel and called order to the livestream. It was pure, beautiful chaos.

As is already abundantly clear, nobody watches The View to learn things, or to hear about the news. The collective audience of ABC’s firebrand talkshow engages with it like sports. Pick a team, root for that team, and work to relentlessly crush all others in their path. For instance: I don’t like Joy Behar, and would probably fight her on sight, but I do enjoy someone willing to call Meghan McCain stupid on television. Hostin isn’t mean enough for me, Whoopi acts too much like a courtroom judge, and Haines fades into the green screen if I’m not looking carefully enough.

More than anything, I value consistency and anarchy, which The View’s telecast has in spades. The more things change, the more they stay the same, and I genuinely hope these bitches are still fighting at the eventual heat death of the universe.