The French Finally Invent a Word for 'French Kiss'

“What do the French call French kissing?” is a question you might ask if you think you’re extremely clever. The answer, until today, was literally nothing. There was no French word for it. Just like in 1984, the French were denied knowledge of the concept via their inability to name it. Until today, amorous French people would rub their moustaches together or spit red wine into each other’s mouths as a means of expressing affection.

Now that the one-world verb “galocher” (which means — you guessed it! — “to kiss with tongues”) has been added to the Petit Robert 2014 French dictionary, the inhabitants of France are finally free to galoche with abandon, something they never did before now. Despite being home to many famed sex symbols, including Brigitte Bardot, Gérard Depardieu, and the nun from Madeline (probably), France had absolutely no game for centuries untold.

Okay, that’s not really true. Before the addition of galocher to the dictionary, the French did engage in plenty of tongue kissing. According to Laurence Laporte of the Petit Robert publishing house, the French language included many appetizing expressions for it, including “kissing at length in the mouth,” which paints a drably accurate picture of the act. “Nothing really happened,” French women would say to each other over Sunday brunch. “We kissed at length in the mouth, but that was it.”

Actually, galocher has existed for a while as a slang term. According to the Associated Press, ‘La galoche’ is an ice-skating boot, so the new term riffs evocatively on the idea of sliding around the ice.” Blerg. (But, really, as if “making out” is any less bizarre-sounding.)