The Foolproof Reddit Guide to Pleasing Your Man

AskReddit might be the best part of Reddit, if only because people feel that it’s appropriate to ask wildly dumb questions and expect totally legitimate answers in return (Example: Why is it so taboo to make fun of fat people for being fat? Why is it called discrimination?). In those cases, you learn nothing. In the better cases, you learn that some men prefer getting a hug from behind than receiving a blow job.

This girl wanted to do something nice for her boyfriend, so she posted about it on AskReddit. Said boyfriend is “working crazy hours at work recently and doesn’t have a lot of free time for date nights.” She wanted to know if there’s anything she can do to surprise him that she’s not thinking of, and specifically clarifies the following:

“Please no one say BJ, i know thats at the top of everyones list.”

For the most part, she got what she asked for. Here are the top responses:

1. Make decisions for him.

“Her planning an entire day with me knowing nothing about it. As someone who makes majority of the decisions this would be nice.”

2. Give him compliments.

“i think you look sexy when you clean the gutters….”

“Have you seen your butt when you take out the trash?”

“I love it when you can open jars.”

“my girlfriend called me handsome 3 months ago and it still makes me feel like a stud.”

3. Wash him.

“Trust me, it will wash the stress away, relax his mind, fill him with amazing thoughts, and fill him with deep appreciation.”

4. Provide him with sustenance.

“A DVD of Blazing Saddles and a BBQ chicken pizza.”

“I once said I want a caprisun when my girlfriend came home from a girls night. Now she brings one everytime. I guess remembering little things is what makes me feel great about her.”

“random Nestle Crunch”

“case of beer and a bag of potato chips.”

“Tacos. Like, I want to have a Saturday where we’re driving to the mall or something, and suddenly she pulls out a whole tray of tacos from under the seat and is all like ‘SUPRISE! TACOS’ and then we would eat tacos.”

“Muffins. Delicious home made muffins.”

“Chocolate cake and a bottle of whiskey.”

5. Massage him.

Shoulders, back, head, full-body all specified.

6. Give him a surprise gift.

“Doesn’t have to be anything in particular… something that she saw perhaps and was thinking of me.”

7. Hug him.

“From behind.” Unexpected hugs from behind are very popular and were mentioned multiple times. But naturally, this wouldn’t be a serious discussion about How To Please Your Man without the conversation devolving into the fabulousness (or lack thereof) of oral sex play:

It all went off the rails pretty fast:

For future reference: “random bjs ar best bjs.”

Boyfriends of reddit, what’s somthing you would like your girlfriend to surprise you with randomly? [Reddit]