The Etiquette Surrounding Breast-Reduction

Today’s “Dear Prudence” brings up an interesting modern etiquette question: that of breast-reductions.

Asks the reader (via the distracting “multimedia” segment Prudie’s taken to using), how does one respond post-breast-reduction, when people “ask what’s different?” How to address something so evident, yet so, um, personal?

First of all, says Prudence, who’s asking? “It’s never polite,” she says, to comment on someone else’s breasts. And, she adds, one is free to walk away from said questions when and if people are rude enough to ask. Good advice!

But it’s true: it does come up — and the asker is in college, which makes the chances of people bringing it up about 1000% greater. I remember one friend who had a reduction in high school, and had to deal with comments like, “I would have taken the extra!” (which, weirdly, came from a dude who clearly hadn’t thought it through — or had) not to mention the number of girls who asked to see the results. In fact, wrote another friend whom I asked about the subject, “women were actually way more intrusive — they and my gay friends seemed to think my breasts were a suitable topic of conversation — not to mention okay to touch. Both pre and post.” And while I hope that experience isn’t universal, it does point to the problem that usually the people invading space? Are friends. Which makes it harder or easier, depending on who you’re dealing with.