The EPA Is Right, We Could Really Use More Gas-Guzzling Vehicles in This Economy

Illustration for article titled The EPA Is Right, We Could Really Use More Gas-Guzzling Vehicles in This Economy
Image: AP

Happy Fri-yay everybody!

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • The EPA is rolling back Obama-era regulations on fuel economy standards for cars, the result of which will be, according to Harvard’s environmental economics program director, “more gas-guzzling vehicles on the road, greater total gasoline consumption, and a significant increase in carbon dioxide emissions.” Win-win! [New York Times]
  • Turns out oil man only stayed in his oil condo for $50 a night. [AP]
  • Also, his security detail thought he might have died there or something last year, so they called 911 and broke down the door. (“He was found groggy.”) [ABC News]
  • Racist freakboy Milo Yiannopoulos has closed down his much-needed charity for white men, and nobody really knows what he did with the $100,000 he raised. I mean, whoever donated money to Milo Yiannopoulos absolutely deserves this. [The Hill]
  • Rep. Elizabeth Esty (D-CT) employed former chief of staff Tony Baker for three months after she first learned about allegations that he had sexually, physically, and verbally abused Anna Kain, who also worked for Esty. She also signed an NDA, wrote him a letter of recommendation, and gave him $5,000 in severance. Coolcoolcooolcoolcool! [Washington Post]
  • Trump wants to haul ass out of Syria after we “defeat ISIS,” which is freaking out basically anyone who knows anything about foreign policy and also ISIS. [Associated Press]
  • The New York City Housing Authority is no longer allowed to use money for things like repairs on public housing without asking for permission from Ben “ugly-ass $31k table” Carson. I’m sure this will end well! [Wall Street Journal]
  • They’re really still trying to do this stupid wall, huh? [Politico]
  • Some actual good news: Confusing right-wing Clueless star Stacey Dash is no longer running for office in California. [Cosmopolitan]

Here are some tweets the President was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.

Ellie is a freelance writer and former senior writer at Jezebel. She is pursuing a master's degree in science journalism at Columbia University in the fall.


Muqaddimah (call me Muck)

In case you didn’t watch the Good Friday video in the “Here are some tweets...” section of today’s Barf Bag, 45* is going on about how great it is to be “liberated” and “freed” and delivered safely home. He then speaks of the “glorious resurrection” of someone who was gone for a while. In response to this miracle, 45* notes, there is made a “joyful proclamation” - totally indicating that the proclaimed words would be followed by an exclamation point, and thereby categorically identifying those words as today’s Code 45*:

“He is risen!”

[Awww...that’s sweet. I’ve missed you too, sir*.]