The Daily Show's Guide to Shopping While Black Is Priceless

Illustration for article titled The emDaily Show/ems Guide to Shopping While Black Is Priceless

It's been a big month in racial profiling news. Trayon Christian, a 19-year-old African American man, was arrested after purchasing an expensive belt with his own debit card at Barneys. Shortly thereafter, a young black woman who also dared to shop at Barneys was stopped by police after purchasing a purse. Next, Macy's — not wanting to be left out of all the racial profiling fun — ended up cuffing and detaining Treme actor Rob Brown over suspicions that he had used a fake credit card to buy a watch. Way to go, department stores. You're really killing it at being horrible these days.

Of course, this is all really only "news" if, like me, you are white and have the privilege of dealing with this kind of story only when it comes up in your newsfeed. If you're a person of color, chances are this is less of a scandal and more of a depressing (and enraging) part of your daily reality.


As an adult, you've probably developed your own way of coping with this day-to-day racist bullshit by now, but just in case you need a little extra guidance on how to shop while black (especially over the holidays), The Daily Show's Jessica Williams has the perfect tutorial. Ski masks on, everybody!

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This reminds me of Chappelle's skit on police brutality, where he says

" [...] that whole brutality thing." See, that's common knowledge then. See there was a time when only minorities really knew about that. I'm not gonna say white people didn't believe us, but you were a little skeptical. You were a little skeptical. I mean, I don't blame you. And then "Newsweek" printed it, and he knew it was true.
In the "Newsweek," White people are like:
"Oh my God.
Honey, did you see this?
Apparently, the police have been beating up Negros like hotcakes.
It's in the main issue." I mean, really, how could you know, though? How could anyone else know?

Black people have been getting profiled for decades. When I went into the BMW dealership to buy my car, I couldn't get one SINGLE salesman to talk to me until I took my (white) husband with me.