The Chaos Parade Trailing Meghan and Harry Has Rolled Into Santa Barbara

Illustration for article titled The Chaos Parade Trailing Meghan and Harry Has Rolled Into Santa Barbara
Image: Simon Dawson (Getty Images)

In their short tenure as The Sussexes, capital T capital S, Meghan Markle and the former Prince Harry have gathered around them quite a hodgepodge troupe of paparazzi, helicopter pilots, attack drones, and high-speed chase stunt people. This merry band of misfits was easier to ignore when the couple was jet setting around the world, but after the couple’s move to Santa Barbara, their neighbors are revolting.

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TMZ reports that Montecito, California, the sunny seaside enclave of the worst millionaires you know, is being rended apart by its newest denizens. Sources claim that the skies have been overrun by the sounds helicopters since the two rolled into town with their chaos parade, with paparazzi prowling the streets alongside desperate, coronavirus-mad tourists who think they might get a quick peek at the two.

As TMZ notes, Montecito, which is home to people like Ellen DeGeneres and Jeff Bezos, has long been heralded as a paparazzi-free space for its Uber-rich denizens. This code has been tossed out the window, considering the lawless environment that follows wherever Meghan and Harry rest their head.

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This is also not the first time a California neighborhood has been transformed into a drone-infested battleground because of these two. Back in May, the Daily Beast reported that the Sussexes had bolstered their home security after photo-drones swarmed around their temporary crash pad in Los Angeles. (Owned by Tyler Perry, of course.) The couple reported drone-related incidents to LAPD at least five times.

Now, it’s certainly humorous to picture rich people running and ducking for cover as the sentient Sussex Attack Drone Swarm flies overhead for its daily photo routine. But the mental image gets downright hysterical when you recognize just who their neighbors are. As the Daily Mail reported in August, their neighbors include billionaire Peter Sperling; an uber-rich banker; and a vineyard owner. None of these people are famous, or would normally find themselves the subject of paparazzi scrutiny—but who is calling in the complaints? My money is on Ellen DeGeneres, who I could imagine wants some privacy in this moment. I’m open to suggestions, though! Let’s start a betting pool.


I just think this was neat.


I JUST THINK THIS WAS REALLY NEAT!


Lady Gaga’s outfit, meanwhile... is so... uninspired?

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DISCUSSION

manybellsdown-
many bells down, now with .1% more pig

I used to work for a real estate agent in Montecito, and my money would be on non-celebrity neighbors. The “regular” rich folks were always way worse.

I remember we were all sitting there staring numbly at the news on 9/11 and a couple waltzed in and demanded we take them on showings immediately because they were "very busy people."