Illustration for article titled The Best iVanderpump Rules/i Couple Is Engaged
Image: Getty

SURprise.

Stassi Schroeder, Vanderpump Rules star and once its lead villain/protagonist, is engaged to her boyfriend Beau Clark. This is great news, mostly because everyone on the show loves Beau and has endured years of watching Schroeder date morons on screen and off. I’m simply happy to have a grownup couple on Vanderpump that I wouldn’t immediately dismiss as “insufferable.”

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According to People, Schroeder first broke the news Wednesday night on Instagram. She posted a goofy pic of the pair, her engagement ring very visible, with the caption, “OMG. I feel like Meghan Markle.”

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Beau’s schmaltzy post arrived an hour later with the caption, “Sloppy Kisses 4 Life!” My heart is built of shards of glass, but even I can recognize that this is cute.

Please note the geo-tag of the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.

In an Instagram Story that will absolutely expire soon, Stassi explains that the couple went to tour mausoleums “to see if I wanted to buy one.” Instead, Beau popped the question with a ring she described as being “straight out of Downton Abbey.” It’s the perfect setting for a woman obsessed with murder, and I can’t wait to see it in a later season.

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According to Us Weekly, Stassi and Beau began dating February 2018. I look forward to whatever disturbing visuals await in their wedding ceremony. Perhaps a Halloween wedding?

Senior Writer, Jezebel. My debut book, LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands, is out July 21.

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DISCUSSION

Maria, I love your writing and your articles. But lately, I have to say, as one VPR fan to another - I completely disagree with everything you’ve been posting about these crazy kids.

Nazi Stassi is a terrible person - problematic, arrogant, annoying, boring, rude, conniving, immature. I even tried reading her “book” and it only made me hate her more. If I have to hear one more time how liking true crime makes her “quirky,” I will burn my TV. Any man who voluntarily chooses to be with her is immediately suspect. It is simply impossible for a cool person to like Stassi. Thus, I hate them both.

Engagement posts on my social media are already annoying. Now I’ll have to deal with Stazi planning a wedding.

What’s next - Brittany and Jax having kids?

I implore all my fellow Bravo junkies to transition out of RHOBH and VPR and instead start watching Southern Charm New Orleans and Real Housewives of Dallas. ‘Tis the natural progression of a longtime Bravo fan.