Did you notice the ad on the back cover of this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue? (You have a subscription to that, right?) It's a lot like the front cover, which features Kate Upton standing in freezing Antartica in nothing but undies and an unzipped winter coat (fun fact: this almost killed her), only instead of a busty lady, the ad features a sexy M&M peeling off her shell.
"Aw, no," echoes the cries of bros everywhere. "I dunno whether I want to eat it or put my dick into it!!! Also, I am overcompensating because I'm insecure about my sexuality. BRO FIVE."
P.S. I am feeling bad about myself because I don't look more like this M&M. THANKS, Sports Illustrated.