Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

The 150 Worst Albums Made By Men

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NPR has compiled a list of what the outlet is calling the “150 Greatest Albums by Women,” as chosen by chief music critic Ann Powers and a cadre of other writers. The point of categorizing albums based on no criteria but gender, as explained by Powers, was to shift “the assumption that a male perspective can stand for all perspectives,” and to recenter women as a vital, dynamic part of the musical canon without reverting back to that perspective. Women are culturally trendy now, as you might have surmised from a glut of “Let’s Get Feministy” style merch in your native ad feed, but if you might remember when we were not—and those of us who’ve been through the “feminism is cool” cycle a few times can predict that there’s a decent chance the tide will turn back around.

And, of course, NPR’s list has holes—there’s no Chavela Vargas, for instance, in my eyes a horrifying oversight!—but Powers acknowledges that it will, and all lists such as these are constricted by the limitations of the people making them. It’s actually why I think the very concept of canon is bullshit, anyway; because it’s unfailingly ordained by people in power (usually men, creating a kind of circular hell). As Powers writes:

It’s arguable, in fact, that beyond getting the groceries, lists are fundamentally lies. They reflect unconscious biases and whispered compromises; they solidify beliefs that may seem relevant in the moment, but become incomprehensible to the next generation. They are also arguably anti-feminist. As Robin Morgan wrote in the anthology that helped define feminism’s Second Wave, 1970's Sisterhood is Powerful, “The women’s movement is a non-hierarchical one. It does things collectively and experimentally.”


That said, here is our canon of dread! We didn’t really need to acknowledge that, for every 150 great albums by women that get made, there are at least twice as many terrible ones made by men, but as a thought exercise it was fun to think about the male albums that I, and my coworkers at Jezebel and the wider net at Gizmodo Media Group, think are the shittiest. We didn’t provide blurbs because that would have required listening to this awful discography yet again. They’re in no particular order apart from the top 10 or so, which deserve more disdain from me, personally, than most. You might find your favorite group on here, but don’t feel offended. Taste is always subjective, and it’s 2017; everything is bound to be utterly stupid from here on out.

150. Pearl Jam, No Code

149. Skinny Puppy, Too Dark Park

148. Mother Love Bone, Apple

147. Chris Brown, Graffiti

146. Ace Frehley, Ace Frehley

145. Dave Matthews Band, Before These Crowded Streets

144. Morrissey, Years of Refusal

143. Jay-Z & Linkin Park, Collision Course

142. Good Charlotte, Cardiology

141. Kanye West, 808s and Heartbreaks

140. Stevie Wonder, Characters

139. Big Sean, Finally Famous

138. Jay-Z & R. Kelly, Unfinished Business

137. Guns N Roses, Chinese Democracy

136. Diplo, Decent Work for Decent Pay

135. Dr. Dre, Dr. Dre Presents… The Aftermath

134. Tool, Ænima

133. Chief Keef, Finally Rich

132. Drake, Views

131. Phish, Lawn Boy

130. David Guetta, Listen

129. Jamie Foxx, Best Night Of My Life

128. Slint, Spiderland

127. Pat Boone, the Greatest Story Ever Told

126. Flo-Rida, Wild Ones

125. Dee Dee Ramone, Dee Dee King

124. The National, Boxer

123. Snoop Lion, Reincarnated

122. Julio Iglesias, 1100 Bel Air Place

121. Daniel Powter, Daniel Powter

120. Yung Lean, Unknown Memory

119. Eamon, I Don’t Want You Back

118. Usher, Raymond v. Raymond

117. Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks, Pig Lib

116. Warrant, Cherry Pie

115. Prince, The Rainbow Children

114. The Crystal Method, Tweekend

113. Bon Iver, For Emma, Forever Ago

112. Soulja Boy, iSouljaBoyTellEm

111. Duran Duran, Thank You

110. Gene Simmons, Gene Simmons

109. Neil Young, Are You Passionate?

108. Michael Bolton, Soul Provider

107. Hoobastank, Every Man for Himself

106. Kula Shaker, Peasants, Pigs & Astronauts

105. The Weeknd, Kiss Land

104. The Beatles, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

103. Vanilla Ice, Bi-Polar

102. Russell Crowe & The Ordinary Fear of God, My Hand, My Heart 

101. Bo Bice, 3

100. Muse, Drones

99. Lifehouse, No Name Face

98. Bobby Brown, The Masterpiece

97. The Cure, Wild Mood Swings

96. The Shins, Oh, Inverted World

95. Philly’s Most Wanted, Get Down or Lay Down

94. Action Bronson, Mr. Wonderful

93. AC/DC, Fly on the Wall

92. U2, How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb

91. Bee Gees, Living Eyes

90. Ray J, Raydiation

89. Jack White, Blunderbuss

88. Twenty One Pilots, Blurryface

87. The-Dream, IV Play

86. Swedish House Mafia, Until Now

85. Wilco, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot

84. Moby, Destroyed

83. Jet, Get Born

82. Jason Mraz, We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things.

81. Gavin DeGraw, Gavin DeGraw

80. Deadmau5, Random Album Title

79. Radiohead, Kid A

78. Fun, Some Nights

77. One Direction, Four

76. Korn, Korn

75. Coldplay, Ghost Stories

74. Papa Roach, Infest

73. Elvis Presley, Today

72. Robbie Williams, Swing When You’re Winning

71. Giorgio Moroder, Déja-Vu

70. Weezer, Make Believe

69. Ed Sheeran, +

68. Daughtry, Leave This Town

67. Calvin Harris, I Created Disco

66. Maroon 5, Hands All Over

65. Metallica, Death Magnetic

64. Steve Miller Band, The Joker

63. Lil Wayne, Rebirth

62. Mötley Crüe, Generation Swine

61. Timbaland, Shock Value

60. Sufjan Stevens, Illinois

59. The Rolling Stones, Dirty Work

58. Borgore, #NEWGOREORDER 

57. Sting, Ten Summoner’s Tales

56. Chingy, Hate It or Love It

55. Arcade Fire, The Suburbs

54. Toby Keith, Shock’n Y’all

53. Uncle Kracker, No Stranger to Shame

52. Plain White T’s, All That We Needed

51. Imagine Dragons, Smoke + Mirrors

50. Staind, Break the Cycle

49. Miles Davis, Doo Bop

48. Cee Lo Green, Heart Branch

47. 98 Degrees, Revelation

46. Ted Nugent, Cat Scratch Fever

45. Oasis, Standing on the Shoulder of Giants

44. Brad Paisley, Wheelhouse

43. Savage Garden, Savage Garden

42. Josh Groban, Closer

41. Nelly, 5.0

40. Sting, Sacred Love

39. Belle & Sebastian, Fold Your Hands Child, You Walk Like a Peasant

38. Orgy, Punk Statik Paranoia

37. The Black Eyed Peas, Elephunk

36. Jack Johnson, In Between Dreams

35. Magic!, Primary Colours

34. Charlie Puth, Nine Track Mind

33. The Strokes, Comedown Machine

32. Enrique Iglesias, Sex and Love

31. Placebo, Placebo

30. Nickelback, Silver Side Up

29. Rapeman, Two Nuns and a Pack Mule

28. Limp Bizkit, Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water

27. Lou Reed, Metal Machine Music

26. The Doors, Strange Days

25. James Blunt, Back to Bedlam

24. 311, 311

23. Jay-Z, Kingdom Come

22. Barenaked Ladies, Stunt

21. Matchbox Twenty, Mad Season

20. Robin Thicke, Paula

19. Trapt, Amalgamation

18. Methods of Mayhem, A Public Disservice Announcement

17. Train, Bulletproof Picasso

16. James Taylor, Greatest Hits

15. Justin Timberlake, 20/20 Part II

14. Creed, Human Clay

13. U2, Songs of Innocence

12. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, This Unruly Mess I’ve Made

11. Joe Scarborough Band, Mystified

10. Maná, Drama y Luz

9. Eminem, Relapse

8. Bruce Willis, The Return of Bruno

7. Bob Dylan, Christmas in the Heart

6. Kevin Federline, Playing With Fire

5. Toby Keith, 35 MPH Town

4. Chainsmokers, Memories... Do Not Open

3. Lou Reed & Metallica, Lulu

2. Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Last Rebel

1. Kid Rock, Rock N Roll Jesus