The 10 Weirdest Celebrity Products

You might be a redneck, or know someone who is, but Jerky also appeals to classy women, anglers, hikers, skiiers, snowboarders, hunters, extreme sporters and the dietary concious. An excellent source of protein that is low in fat and high on tasty satisfaction!

However, an anonymous commenter on JunkFoodBlog notes that the Maple Brown Sugar Ham Jerky variety is so, “sickeningly sweet,” he, “threw out the bag after I was unable to get through even half of it in 2 weeks.” Yum!

Cheech Marin Hot Sauce
There’s a simple reason Cheech Marin has a line of hot sauces — “Well,” says Cheech, “they asked me.” While he admits that he doesn’t actually mix these products himself, he adds, “From my Mexican heritage I know a lot about chiles.” Wait, shouldn’t there be a pot reference here? Ah, the description says Gnarly Garlic Hot Sauce is “Up in Smoke.” Nice.

Pimp Juice
Pimp Juice, which was inspired by the Nelly song of the same name, is billed as “Hip-Hop’s #1 Energy Drink,” but it’s also the first energy drink to be denounced by the Project Islamic H.O.P.E., the National Alliance For Positive Action, the National Black Anti-Defamation League and the Messianic Afrikan Nation. These groups called for a boycott, saying the drink “degrades women and glorifies a pimp lifestyle,” but Nelly countered,

Pimp Juice is anything that attracts the opposite sex; it could be money, fame, or straight intellect; it don’t matter! Pimp Juice is color blind; you find it works on all colors, creeds and kinds; from ages 50 right down to nine.

Mr. T Cereal
Back in the ’80s, there was nothing better than watching Saturday morning cartoons while chowing down on a big bowl of Mr. T Cereal. Why was it so great? Well, as Mr. T explains in this commercial, “It’s cool.” OK, honestly, it’s just T-shaped Cap’N Crunch. For instructions on serving this culinary delight, check out this clip from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.

Carlos Santana Shoes
Carlos Santana launched his Carlos by Carlos line of women’s shoes around 2005 with his wife Deborah Santana. Zappos admits that “Carlos does not design the footwear himself,” however, “he is part of the design process.”

Still, the line has been a success — apparently women want shoes that, “reflect the same passion, artistry, and energy generated by legendary rock icon Carlos Santana’s music.” It’s also popular among male fans hell bent on buying anything Santana puts his name on, which is why UltimateSantana.com provides a “Guys’s Guide to Buying Carlos by Carlos Santana Women’s Shoes.”

Jessica Simpson Dessert Treats Edible Cosmetics
Jessica Simpson has tried to sell us many products over the years, including shoes, luggage, and fake hair, but the most ridiculous was certainly her line of edible cosmetics. The Dessert Treats line included, “lipglosses, whipped body cream, fragrances, sugar shimmer, hair and body mist, body frosting, shampoo and body wash.” Yes, shampoo. Ladies, never again will we feel the sting of rejection for not having hair that tastes like lollipops!

Sylvester Stallone High Protien Pudding
A few years ago Sylvester Stallone got into the supplement business, which actually makes perfect sense. And of course, if you’re trying to market muscle-building products to men, you want to use the most macho food ever: pudding.

According to CarbSmart.com, Sly’s “ready-to-eat protein puddings are quite literally packed with a whopping 20g of high quality protein in each serving.” Plus they’re lactose-free! You don’t want to be contending with any digestive issues before you go toe-to-toe with Ivan Drago.

Sadly, Stallone was recent hit with a lawsuit over trade secrets, and this pudding is no longer on the market.

Steven Seagal Lightening Bolt Energy Drink
According to the website, “Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt energy drinks are as unique as the man who created it.” It’s billed as the “only energy drink made of 100% juice,” and is also the only beverage that comes in a racially insensitive flavor, allowing you to drink in the “Asian Experience.”