That British Woman Who Fucks Ghosts Got Engaged!

Illustration for article titled That British Woman Who Fucks Ghosts Got Engaged!
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Having a ghost fiancé solves a surprising array of problems: like how to throw a stupendous party to honor your love when you’re not currently dating a flesh-and-blood human, and what to talk about during your 15 minutes of fame (supernatural orgasms), and how to stay married, and figuring out whether you’ve got fair-weather friends or the kind that will cry real tears as you wed a hot apparition caught betwixt two worlds.


The Sun reported over the weekend that Amethyst Realm, a 30-year-old British psychic already somewhat renowned for claiming last year to have bedded 20 ghost lovers, recently got engaged to a spirit she met on a business trip to Australia in February. On the way back from that trip, Realm says she and her restless soul did it on the plane: “I was so happy and excited—so excited that we had to do something about it. So we headed to the plane loo and, well, I am now a member of the Mile High Club.” Nice to see two people in the same metaphysical field making it work.

Realm says her phantom fiancé proposed to her on a trip to England’s Wookey Hole caves. “There was no going down on one knee,” Realm told The Sun. “I could actually hear his voice and it was beautiful. Deep, sexy, and real.” That last word carries a whiff of desperation. She adds, “I’m not 100 percent sure this lover is male.” But a medium did tell Realm that this lover and her have hooked up in three past lives (her fiancé says “it’s not important”).

The couple is now picking out a ring and will start planning the wedding soon. It’s to be a Pagan handfasting ceremony, according to The Sun, “somewhere in the English countryside.” As for Amethyst’s family, they are totally supportive of her intentions—which explains a lot.

contributing writer, nights



I’ve got a feeling that this guy isn’t going to call or text her, and will fail to reply back to any voicemails or texts she leaves for him.