Thank You, Science, for the Orgasm Machine

Scientists have finally quit goofing around with all that cancer-research and time travel nonsense and moved on to working on something actually important—orgasms.

A group of ~~heroes~~ scientists have come up with a machine that can reportedly provide orgasms for women at the switch of a button, according to the sex reporters at CBS Charlotte.

“I was placing the electrodes and suddenly the woman started
exclaiming emphatically,” said Stuart Meloy, a surgeon at Piedmont
Anesthesia and Pain Consultants in Winston-Salem, N.C., who discovered
the idea by accident. “I asked her what was up and she said, ‘You’re going to have to teach my husband to do that’.”

A little smaller than a packet of cigarettes, the machine is designed
to be a medical implant that uses electrodes to trigger an orgasm. The
device would help some women who suffer from orgasmic dysfunction.

Oh that sounds great! So, how does this work exactly?

During the operation, a patient would remain conscious so that a
surgeon could correctly pinpoint the right nerves to fit the electrodes
in a patient’s spinal cord. Then, a signal generator would be connected
which would be most likely implanted under the skin of a patient’s
buttocks….the treatment is intended to be used in the
most serious of orgasmic dysfunction cases because the device is as
invasive as a pacemaker.

So good news for women with orgasmic dysfunction—clinical trials of the device start later this year.