Image: via Getty

I did not expect to write two tiger-related stories this week. But life is full of the unforeseen, and so I bring you this news: a Houston man on the hunt for a weed-smoking spot discovered a “well-fed” tiger living in an abandoned house. The tiger is fine!

According to a local ABC affiliate, the unnamed weed smoker found the 350-pound tiger trapped in a cage in a vacant house in southeast Houston. There were packages of meat surrounding the tiger, though the report notes that the tiger’s living conditions were still “deplorable.” Thankfully, the smoker called for help, though, amusingly, at first officials thought his high brain might have imagined the tiger. Per ABC (emphasis mine):

“A concerned citizen called 311. They were trying to get into this house to smoke marijuana. We questioned them as to whether they were under the effects of the drugs or they actually saw a tiger. They saw a tiger in this building, this vacant house that’s obviously been abandoned for some time,” said Sgt. Jason Alderete, of HPD’s Major Offenders, Livestock Animal Cruelty Unit.

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When officials showed up to the house, they found the tiger was, in fact, not a THC-induced fever dream, and had her transported to a facility for exotic pets. It is unclear where she will go next, according to local Bureau of Animal Regulation and Care spokesperson Laura Cottingham:

“Finding a forever home for a tiger is not easy,” said Cottingham, who is currently caring for six exotic animals at a cost of more than $1 million.

“I tried to explain to people it’s a lot like having a child. If you have a child, you have insurance but these guys don’t have insurance,” she said

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I do not have any children, but I am not quite sure a pet tiger is much like one, although perhaps it might be similar to a child that is teething? Anyway, if any parents were hoping Houston might trade the tiger in for their small child, I regret to inform you she has a new, happy home at a sanctuary in north Texas, so you will still have to teach your human creature how to sleep through the night.