Terrifying Weight-Loss Ad Will Make You Lose Sleep

Is this a preview for the next Zorro movie? A Decemberists music video? Someone's really bad student film? No, it's a commercial for the weight-loss drug Xenical, and it's scary in about fifty different ways.

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First of all, it's obviously not true that fat people can't tie their own shoes or lead exciting lives. But what kind of exciting life is depicted here anyway? Trench warfare? A firing squad? A bleeding knife? These are the worst reasons to lose weight we've ever heard (and we've heard some bad ones). New Zealand, where the ad aired, has been considering a ban on direct-to-consumer drug marketing for some time — and no wonder. I feel like I need a Valium just to deal with the side effects of watching this one.

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The Most Epically Insane Weight Loss Commercial Ever Made [Copyranter]

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DISCUSSION

ludazena--slatka--old
LudaŽena (Slatka)

It was a beautiful commercial up until the "But first, I'd just like to tie my own shoes" part.

It's like a weight loss commercial made by people who have never had a weight problem and have never known anyone who has but who think they have deep insight into how overweight people feel based on stereotypes.

I'm really growing frustrated with this. I'm a so-called skinny bitch. With the exception of the war, I've been between 120 and 140 American pounds my entire life. I know what it's like to have this shirt not fit as well, to have to wear those pants for an hour to loosen them up before going outside, but that's it.

Since coming to Jezebel, I'm really trying - and trying hard - to see beyond weight. I don't mean to imply I was obsessed with it, I wasn't. I just realize now it was one of those things I hadn't learned I wasn't allowed to be judgmental about. And I still struggle but I'm winning. Last night I watched the first four episodes of Huge and afterwards I was thinking to myself, "Oh, I love these characters. I hope they make it!" and then I thought - what does make it mean? I hope they graduate from fat camp as slender people? I hope they come to accept their bodies? Could I accept their bodies? Okay, yes... but still, what about health?

And I'm so sick of thinking about that, I'm sick of being conflicted. So fuck it, I wash my hands of it. It's none of my goddamn business anyway.

Why do I have to be concerned about someone else's weight? Why? Why does that feel like being considerate, looking out for others, and so on? It's totally not. And it's exhausting.

So from now on I'm just going to see the person. Eat whatever the hell you want, I really don't care. I just want to enjoy you and make both our lives a little brighter.

(Can't tie her own shoes? Are you serious? ARGH!)