Tequila Will Help Us All Lose Weight, Says Most Perfect Study Ever

A new study suggests sugars found in the plant that is used to make tequila may offer benefits to people who are overweight or have diabetes.

According to an article in Time, research presented at the National Meeting of the American Chemical Society (ACS) in Dallas, says we should all throw away our diet and exercise tools and just drink lots of sweet, nourishing tequila. No, wait. It doesn’t say that at all, actually:

A type of natural sugar called agavins come from the agave plant, which can be used to make tequila. These sugars (which are not the same as in the more commonly known agave syrup) are non-digestible and do not raise blood sugar, according to Mexican researchers.

In new research, the team of scientists fed mice a standard diet, and added agavins to some of their water. They discovered that the mice who consumed agavins ate less overall and had lower blood glucose levels. The effects were stronger than other artificial sweeteners like aspartame and agave syrup. The mice consuming agavins also produced a hormone called GLP-1 that keeps the stomach full longer and produces insulin, which is another reason it could be beneficial for people with diabetes and weight issues.

“This puts agavins in a tremendous position for their consumption by obese and diabetic people,” the authors write in the study. “We believe agavins have a great potential as a light sweetener.” More information on the study can be found here. Sadly, none of it involves good shooter recipes to serve at parties. Bummer.

For those worried about the possible scientific accuracy of this study. I personally volunteer to vigorously research it by putting its theories into practice. I have several bottles of tequila ready to go now. I look forward to bringing all of you the results of my findings.

No word yet on whether this “study” isn’t just some perfectly time PR move by the big tequila manufacturers to help tequila’s standing in Jezebel’s Drugs Vs. Alcohol March Madness event.