Ted Cruz Drops Out Following Trump Win in Indiana

By Lauren Evans  |  May 4, 2016 | 12:23am
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Ted Cruz has officially ended his bid for the White House, following Trump’s victory in the Indiana primary. Across Twitter, a nation mourns:

On the one hand, all jokes about his strangely penile countenance and accusations that his father shot JFK are no longer relevant. On a different finger on the same hand, the threat of a future Trump presidency just took one, long stride closer to becoming real.

But let’s deal with that tomorrow, for tonight, we celebrate this, the Final Day of Cruz Jokes. Who will help Carly Fiorina when she falls off the stage now? Oops, still not Ted Cruz. God damn it I’m going to miss this.

Image via Getty.

 
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