Tea Party Beauty Pageant Is Beyond Parody

Illustration for article titled Tea Party Beauty Pageant Is Beyond Parody

Sorry, they don't like it called that — it's the Miss Liberty America pageant and is not affiliated with the "fringe" Tea Party. Even if it is devoted to "restoring Liberty to the United States." And contains a marksmanship category.


And yes, this is a picture from their website.

As founder Alicia Hayes-Roberts corrected Mother Jones, "We don't want to be associated with that...We're a corporation, we are a for-profit operation, and I can't have that." Odd, since her brother, RUTHERFORD B. HAYES, is currently both a 2010 Presidential candidate and the org's CFO. Never mind all that: the Miss Liberty America pageant, as its website tells us,

will be making its debut July 4th weekend 2012 as the most influential pageant in America that will trump all national pageants and transform the pageant industry in its integrity, prestige, diversity, reputation, excellence, and prizes awarded. The backdrop of the pageant will be the dramatic city of Las Vegas, Nevada!

So what — besides "a firm belief in the Constitution, Bill of Rights, and The Declaration of Independence,
entrepreneurship, self-governance, & personal responsibility" and $175 — does it take to be a contestant? Among other things:

  • Must be naturally born female
  • Must have a minimum G.P.A. of 3.5 out of a 4.0
  • Must never have been employed or involved with any nudity
    or pornography.
  • Must never have given birth to a child, can not be pregnant
    or be a parent.

Oh, and how could we forget? It was probably just too obvious to need mentioning: "proficiency in the handling, safety and use of firearms. (hand gun and rifle) In addition; they must also be certified in CPR! The MISS LIBERTY AMERICA title holder must be able to defend life as well as save one!"

(There follows a quote by Benjamin Franklin. And one by the pageant's founder.)

The breakdown of scoring is as follows:

  • Fitness and swimsuit: 5%
  • On stage Questions: 10%
  • Evening Wear: 10%
  • Marksmanship: 10%
  • Talent: 10%
  • Beauty: 15% ("natural beauty which will consist of body proportion, and overall facial and physical beauty")
  • Personal interview: 15%
  • Knowledge of the Constitution, Bill of Rights and Declaration of Independence: 25%

The bummer part is that you can't actually apply until July 1, 2011 — but just think how much time that gives you to log at the riflery range!

Miss Liberty America
Miss Liberty America: A Tea Party Beauty Pageant? [Newser]
Miss Liberty America Founder: I'm Not A Tea Partier [Mother Jones]