Taylor Momsen (who some of you may better know as Little J from Gossip Girl, a rebellious teenaged clothing designer who one time sewed ecstasy pills onto a blazer in the best television plotline in all of recorded history) opened up about navigating the world of celebrity as a young woman. Guess what? It is really creepy and horrible!
In an interview with the Daily Beast, she addressed the way she was treated in the media — specifically, she spoke about a photo of her tampon string that gossip sites fiended over:
"Once, my tampon string was put on the Internet when I was 15 because some asshole shot up my dress and it made big headlines. For a year, if you Googled 'Taylor Momsen' the tampon photo was the first thing that came up. When that happens, you just go, I really just don't give a fuck, and you close the computer. People are going to say what they're going to say, and the tabloids will always spin shit."
Good for her for being so self-possessed at 15; if that had happened to me, I would have crawled into a corner and restarted my Neopets account and never spoken to a real human again.
She concludes, "If anyone thinks I'm doing anything more controversial than fuckin' Led Zeppelin, you're insane, because I can see Robert Plant's fuckin' dick… you know?" Good point, Taylor. [Daily Beast]
Kim Kardashian admitted in court that she is not good at doing makeup, which is a truly shocking revelation (I guess she must just have an in-house contour-er who sleeps on the sofa in Kris Jenner's bathroom?). Anyway, the weirdest part of this story is that the Kardashians are being sued over their makeup line, Khroma, because a makeup line called Khroma already exists. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? [Radar]
The Westboro Baptist Church, a truly irrelevant hate organization, had plans to picket an upcoming Lorde concert (their reasoning isn't that clear, I think it might be because there is only one Lord[e] and it's God? Not sure). In a now-deleted tweet, Lorde urged her fans to wear rainbow and kiss the protestors. [Billboard]
- George Clooney went on a safari with his new girlfriend (v. fancy lawyer Amal Alamuddin) and they both looked so safari-casual. [People]
- Nicki Minaj took a butt selfie and remains the real queen of butt selfies (sorry, newcomers). [Bossip]
- Miley Cyrus did karaoke to "Baby Got Back." I didn't listen because I seriously cannot think of a worse way to start my day, butt there is a video. [HuffPo]
- Cody Simpson, who appears to be a shoddy imitation of Justin Bieber 1.0, released a song called "Surfboard" that "channels Beyoncé." Ugh, why can't anyone come up with their own dick metaphors these days? [MTV]
- John Mayer is suing some guy who sold him $700,000 worth of Rolexes with fake parts (he spent $5 MILLION on watches in total — which, like, buy a house or a hoverpack or something useful). [ONTD]
- Desiree Hartsock, former Bachelorette and wedding dress designer/poetess, has revealed to the world the wedding dress she designed herself. Spoiler alert: it has a peplum. [The Hollywood Gossip]
- Kanye West's marriage proposal to Kim Kardashian has reached peak Kimye: the pair could win millions off of it, via suing the man who put footage of it on the Internet. [Hello!]
- Lance Bass says it's statistically very likely that we've already had a gay president ("I'm looking at you, Roosevelt" — real Lance Bass quote). [ONTD]