OMG GMAB (oh my god give me a break)
Image: Getty

A Target has recently opened in Manhattan’s East Village. Apparently the company thought they could “hello, fellow kids!” their way into the neighborhood’s crusty heart with a storefront mimicking the legendary club CBGB. Wow—nailed it, guys.

The New York Times reported:

As part of its opening for the store, on 14th Street and Avenue A, the company erected a facade in the style of CBGB, the rock club that hosted the rise of many seminal bands like the Ramones and Blondie but folded in 2006. Instead of “CBGB,” the awning read “TRGT” and “BANDS” in bold red lettering.

But the “bands” were Target-branded Band-Aids and exercise bands. The display windows showcased TRGT T-shirts, foam hands and a poster emblazoned with “The Resistance” — none of which were for sale.

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It’s just the generic “bands,” used to mean Band-Aids, that really makes this image of New York City in 2018 just *chef’s kiss* perfect. Magnifique!

Obviously—as anybody with even a rudimentary knowledge of New York’s ongoing gentrification battles should have expected—this did not go over well! Vanishing New York author Jeremiah Moss said it “might be the most deplorable commodification of local neighborhood culture I’ve ever witnessed.”

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And now Target is surprised you didn’t like their welcome gift to you, the old-school residents of the East Village still stubbornly hanging on, but also so, so sorry to have offended.

“We often host a one-day celebration that shows the neighborhood how excited we are to be part of their community.”

“We sincerely apologize if some eventgoers felt it was not the best way to capture the spirit of the neighborhood,” the statement continued. “We always appreciate guest feedback and will take it into consideration as we plan for future opening events.”

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Here’s some feedback: Fuck off!