Tareq Salahi Files For Divorce From Michaele

Illustration for article titled Tareq Salahi Files For Divorce From Michaele

After it was discovered that The Real Housewives' Michaele —who was not recently abducted— had left husband Tareq Salahi to be with Journey guitarist Neal Schon, Salahi says he has decided to file for divorce. Oh, and there's something else to this story. Something...below the belt.

[Tareq] also accused Schon of emailing him a picture of a penis, though he doesn't elaborate as to why.

"Over the objections of me, she continually exposes our friends and acquaintances to her adulterous relationship and has flaunted the same throughout the community, the nation and indeed the world, and thus caused ... me to suffer great harm, humiliation, and embarrassment," he said in the divorce petition.

Schon did not return an email. A representative for the group did not return a call seeking comment. Neither Tareq Salahi nor his attorney returned messages seeking comment.

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Nobody is saying anything about anyone to anybody! Which is a first for the Salahis. [AP]

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"My wife and I thought it would be a good idea to wait to see the baby first before we actually decided what his name would be … get a sense of the guy," he shares.
"Then we saw him and he looked like a tiny little baby alien grandpa creature and I was like, ‘I'm not getting any information from this - at all.'"

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Nick Cannon says wife Mariah Carey is trying to get her 20-year-old body back.

Cannon, 30, said his 41-year-old wife has worked hard to get her post-baby where she wants it to be. "At two months she was walking around in a bathing suit," he said. "Every day she's just killing it. I personally think she's going to come out looking better — looking like it's 1990! I think that's what she's aiming for, and I think she'll reach that goal."

So do the duo ever work out together? "We do, but she's too serious!" Cannon said. "She works out in the water. I don't like the water. I can't swim that well."

"Obviously [she pays attention to her] diet and eating properly," he added. "She does long, long hours on the treadmill. It's all doing it the right way."

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thebestueverhad
TheBestUEverHad

(despite being labelled "true story" the following is based on conjecture and gossip that is currently being spread about by people who've encountered the Salahis in real life)

True story: the Salahis are not getting divorced. When the Real Housewives of DC was cancelled and then a few other gigs (like Celebrity Rehab) fell through they got desperate to maintain their Z-list status. So Michelle (her real name BTW) came up with a brilliant solution: find a famous man and make a sex tape! It worked for Kim Kardashian, and Michelle and Tareq legitmately believe they could be just like the Kardashians. So, Michelle's been going around flirting with every moderately famous person she's encountered and has kept a camera in her purse so that when the time comes she can film whatever goes down. Tareq was completely supportive of this. It's like those men who married royal mistresses and allowed their wives to fuck the king in the hopes of gaining royal favor. Well, replace "king" with "washed up rocker" and "royal favor" with "tabloid fame" and you've got Tareq Salahi.

She had met Journey dude a few times in the past (they were not ever in a relationship; this "relationship" took place at some point during her fictional life as a Redskins cheerleader) and finally got him drunk/high enough to have sex with her. She goes back to his place only to discover her camera isn't charged. She calls Tareq all freaked out. She realizes that if she leaves to buy a new charger she might not have another chance. So Tareq comes up with a plan. She'll stay put as long as she can while he reports her as having been kidnapped, and then immediately calls TMZ because that's totally what you do when your wife's been kidnapped. Michelle acts all fake concerned to Journey guy and tells him she's afraid of her husband and that Journey guy better release a statement that she's with him or else the cops might come after him.

As for the penis picture, Michelle took that on her cellphone, which she actually did remember to charge, and sent it to her husband. Obviously, he's going to be the one release it so as not to ruin Michelle's opportunity to further milk whatever she has with Journey dude.

Anyway, the next phase involves a loud public fight outside a courthouse during a fake divorce hearing (they will not actually go through with the divorce) and then a passionate reunion brought about by their good buddy Michael Lohan. He's somehow in on it; an earlier plan involved Michelle making a sex tape with him and then Tareq and Michael having a fake fist fight at one of those nightclubs the Paparazzi hang out in. For whatever reason Michael Lohan decided that might make him look bad so none of it ever happened. Or maybe Michelle suddenly decided she has standards. Who knows?