Tallywackers, the Male Version of Hooters Is Coming for Us

If you ever thought it’d be nice to have a place where you could hang your hat after a long day and see scantily-clad hunks do “The Worm” while serving you a platter of mozzarella cheese sticks, that wish might very well be coming true. Tallywackers, a new eatery in Dallas that looks to be the male counterpart to Hooters, is slated to open in May. Yes, just in time for Horny Mother’s Day.

According to Eater Dallas, the restaurant will be making its debut in Oak Lawn, the city’s gayborhood, though it will no doubt become a hotspot for bachelorette parties, girls’ nights and Sunday brunch with aunties. After the success of Magic Mike, it was only a matter of time for a sanctuary like this to open. A place where washboard abs and cheese fries could become one. If this fine dining establishment achieves success and more locations sprout up around the country, my future self might turn out to be one of their longtime customers. A wise old barfly sitting in a dark corner, mumbling to no one in particular, “I’ve seen a lot of young crotches with big dreams come in and out of this place.” Let’s hope the hot wings are good.