Talking Dog & Talking Baby Discuss Paternity Test In Completely Bonkers Soap Opera Scene

I was pretty devastated when I heard that ABC was canceling two of its soap operas — I've watched All My Children for years. But today, as I was channel-surfing through the hell that is daytime television, I came upon a dramatic One Life To Live scene that made me realize cancellation makes sense. See, a talking dog and a talking baby were arguing with each other. No, really. The dog, named David Vickers, was trying to convince the baby, Liam, to hand over paternity test results the child had hidden in his crib. Then Tina Lord Roberts discovered the document, ran over to a church and interrupted a wedding.


Three possible reasons why this ridiculous scene would occur:

  • Since the show has already been canceled, the writers figure it's a good a time as any to go the Passions route and will segue into an all-science fiction soap by the time they move online in January.
  • The staff writers have realized that they only have two months left, and in a highly-dramatic form of Senioritis, have consequently decided to collectively "Fuck it."
  • The writing on this show has simply been this weird all along, and this clip is all the proof ABC ever needed to say "So... this is why you're canceled."


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It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who's missing Passions right about now. If this were Passions, the dog would have been a toy that comes to life, and the baby would have conjured up the Scissor Sisters in the living room.