Taking Words Right Out of My Mouth, Trump's Secretary of State Reportedly Called Him a 'Fucking Moron'

Image via Getty.
Image via Getty.


Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • Welcome to moron-gate, folks! According to senior administration officials, Sec. of State Rex Tillerson—whose department he is currently “running into the ground,” according to the latest apocalyptic warning from a former State official —nearly quit this summer in a fit of frustration with Trump, referring to him as a “moron” in a meeting with other administration officials, NBC reports. According to an MSNBC reporter, the phrase reportedly used was “fucking moron.” Trump later said he has “total confidence” in Tillerson, which means something maybe but I don’t know what. Tillerson also ate shit in a press conference, calling Trump “smart” and denying that he ever considered leaving his post. He did not deny calling his boss a moron or a fucking moron. [NBC, Politico]
  • Some key Republicans appear to be considering a narrow ban on bump stocks, a legal gun accessory that appears to have allowed the Las Vegas shooter to convert a semi-automatic weapon into an automatic one. “The fact that fully-automatic weapons are already illegal and this makes another weapon capable [of automatic fire], I would be supportive of that,” Senate Homeland Security Committee chairman Ron Johnson (R-Wis.) said. Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) tried unsuccessfully to get bump stocks banned in 2013, and is behind this legislation as well. It’s... something, I guess. [The Hill]
  • “The issue of collusion is still open,” Senate Intel Committee chair Sen. Richard Burr (R-NC) said at a news conference on their ongoing Russia investigation today. Had you forgotten about that? If so, it’s, well, ongoing. [New York Times]
  • Environmental destruction continues apace: the Interior Department has moved to delay an Obama-era rule that limits methane leaks from drilling on federal land. [The Hill]
  • Haha, Puerto Rico, Trump was just joking around about erasing your debt! Never mind! [Politico]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:


This has been Barf Bag.


Mortal Dictata

The “fuck it I have a spare moment for a mini UK Update” update:

The only real story anyone in the UK cares about today is Theresa May’s conference speech and my god was it a fucking mess of spectacular performances.

First up we had “Lee Nelson”, a “comedian” with a history of quite impressive stage invasions such as being the guy behind the “Sepp Blatter Money Shot” in 2015 at FIFA, who somehow managed to walk up to the Prime Minister of the UK in a closed space and hand her a fake P45 (you’re sacked form effectively) signed by BoJo and then started talking to said Boris. At the train station I have to listen to security warnings about critical alert levels yet some guy was just able to get within stabbing range of the PM without a blink.

Next we had her try to desperately carry on with the speech only for a cold she’s been fighting all week to rear its head thereby preventing her from speaking, leading her to coughing and spluttering while cutting words short, leading to bizarre scenes of the Cabinet trying to rush her cough drops in the middle of the speech.

And then finally multiple letters from the slogan behind her began falling off the stage as she spoke blissfully unaware.

This was literally a moment you could only dream of happening in today’s PR world but it did and it was beautiful.