Here in the U.S., some of us are being very responsible about social distancing, and others of us are gigantic idiots. But while the U.S. does boast the world’s largest population of gigantic idiots per capita, it doesn’t mean they don’t exist in other countries as well. Over in Sweden, one town is dissuading its gigantic idiots from gathering in a park by covering it with chicken shit.
In anticipation of Thursday’s Walpurgis Night (a fun-sounding holiday that involves bonfires and dancing), the town of Lund decided to preempt any celebration attempts by dumping a ton of chicken manure in its central park.
As Gustav Lundblad, chairman of the local council’s environment committee, told the the Sydsvenskan newspaper, via The Guardian:
“We get the opportunity to fertilise the lawns, and at the same time it will stink and so it may not be so nice to sit and drink beer in the park,” Lundblad said, adding that the only potential drawback was that the smell may not be confined to the park.
“I am not a fertiliser expert, but as I understand it, it is clear that it might smell a bit outside the park as well,” Lundblad admitted. “These are chicken droppings, after all. I cannot guarantee that the rest of the city will be odourless. But the point is to keep people out of the city park.”
Sweden hasn’t locked down the way that the U.S. and numerous other countries across the world have, though its government has, of course, discouraged large gatherings like the ones that would typically occur on Walpurgis Night.
It warms my heart to know that there are refined societies on this Earth that would let chicken poop keep them from throwing down a picnic blanket. Someday, I’d like to live somewhere with such high standards of health and cleanliness. In the meantime, I live in Philadelphia. Oh well.