Sweat Lodges: The Therapy Of Choice For Bros

Illustration for article titled Sweat Lodges: The Therapy Of Choice For Bros

Sometimes a dude has problems — usually about sex or money. But since therapy's for sissies, he turns to something a little more badass: a sweat lodge. Details has the story.


Whether your problem is an inability to commit (and writer Kayleen Schaefer is shocked that a guy would consider this a problem), or a desire to jumpstart your life by divorcing your wife and starting a PR agency for models, shaman Durek Verrett is your man. But as he makes clear, this ain't no stinkin' counseling:

"You're not seeing a life coach," Verrett says. "I'm no bullshit. I don't want to win your affection. I'm not going to applaud you."

Sweat lodges are not touchy-feely, they are manly. Because people have died in them. Because other dudes are impressed by them ("I like to tell the other dads at my kid's hoity-toity school, 'Hey, man, I did a sweat this weekend'"). And because, um:

Think of it as the Red Bull approach to therapy. It's quick. It's extreme. And it lets you do all the driving.

I wasn't aware that one of Red Bull's perks was its willingness to let you drive. Better than a girlfriend! Seriously, it's nice that sweat lodges give men an opportunity to express emotions and desires that might otherwise be stifled (although according to one shaman their prayers "always comes down to sex and money"). And before I rag on the middle-aged white dudes in Schaefer's article for appropriating Native American traditions to solve their decidedly white-dude problems, I should confess that I too once signed up for a sweat. But I couldn't go. Because I was menstruating. True story.

Image via Drugstore.com.

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Who the fuck are these dudes and why are they a part of my gender?

We all have weird mental health shit and here's how I and most of my male friends deal with it:

1. We talk about it while drinking and give each other advice. Then, when we are done we check out girls and drink some more.

2. We go to therapy. Seriously, every male friend I have over 30 sees a therapist. We aren't embarrassed about it. We do joke about it, but that's it. The exception is one super catholic friend, but he talks to his priest on a regular basis about shit and as far as we can tell a priest is essentially a shrink you don't have to pay. We do kid him about this. He kids us back that what we are paying for is the ability to talk about sex shit without having to say Hail Mary's.

We do this because we are fucking grown men and talking about shit with each other helps, as does talking to a pro. They just help in different ways.

I will admit that almost all of us saw a shrink for the first time because a girl we were dating at the time suggested it, but once we went we realized it was a good deal.

And therapy has an added bonus - it helps you communicate better so you can talk to girls on a more emotionally mature level, which we've all noticed helps us get laid, because, surprise surprise, girls are more willing to have sex with you if they can talk to you about something other than sports and farts.