Surprise Surprise: Barely Animated Ken Doll Robby Hayes Wants to Be America's Next Bachelor

Image via ABC.
Image via ABC.

One day after publicly losing The Bachelorette to human Q-Tip Jordan Rodgers, Robby Hayes—a man with less charisma than blank card stock—is making a more obvious play at becoming the next Bachelor.


“It’s definitely something that’s crossed my mind. It’s definitely something I’d have to talk with my friends and my family about,” the “former competitive swimmer” told press on Tuesday.

He adds:

“The reason I’m definitely open to it is because I know that this avenue and this journey works. It worked for me last season with JoJo, and I have no doubt that it could work for me again.”

Not to mention that it would get Robby—with his dead-eyed Patrick Bateman vibe—back in the spotlight, though I’m sure that has nothing to do with it.

Someone please pass along the message to both Robby and Chris Harrison: The next Bachelor should (and will) be Luke.

Managing Editor, Jezebel


well fuck thee gently with a chainsaw


Spoiler alert: Next season on the Bachelorette, inept heterosexuals will attempt to find love via a nationally televised, highly edited back-stabbing competition that has worse odds than the Hunger Games.