Surprise Surprise: Barely Animated Ken Doll Robby Hayes Wants to Be America's Next Bachelor

Image via ABC.
Image via ABC.

One day after publicly losing The Bachelorette to human Q-Tip Jordan Rodgers, Robby Hayes—a man with less charisma than blank card stock—is making a more obvious play at becoming the next Bachelor.

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“It’s definitely something that’s crossed my mind. It’s definitely something I’d have to talk with my friends and my family about,” the “former competitive swimmer” told press on Tuesday.

He adds:

“The reason I’m definitely open to it is because I know that this avenue and this journey works. It worked for me last season with JoJo, and I have no doubt that it could work for me again.”

Not to mention that it would get Robby—with his dead-eyed Patrick Bateman vibe—back in the spotlight, though I’m sure that has nothing to do with it.

Someone please pass along the message to both Robby and Chris Harrison: The next Bachelor should (and will) be Luke.

Managing Editor, Jezebel

DISCUSSION

chaseom
well fuck thee gently with a chainsaw

Shocker.

Spoiler alert: Next season on the Bachelorette, inept heterosexuals will attempt to find love via a nationally televised, highly edited back-stabbing competition that has worse odds than the Hunger Games.