Sure Are A Lot of People Who Want to Dress Up Their Human Babies Like Cabbage Patch Dolls

Illustration for article titled Sure Are A Lot of People Who Want to Dress Up Their Human Babies Like Cabbage Patch Dolls

Trend alert: There are apparently a lot of people who want to dress their kids up as Cabbage Patch Kids. Coming soon to a Facebook feed near you!

This became apparent during a recent deep-dive of the “kids” section on Etsy, when crocheted Cabbage Patch Kid wigs started popping up. Turns out it’s not one lone enthusiast knitter building a business on her deep, abiding love of toys from the 1980s. No, this is a thriving corner of the Etsy economy.

Illustration for article titled Sure Are A Lot of People Who Want to Dress Up Their Human Babies Like Cabbage Patch Dolls
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Illustration for article titled Sure Are A Lot of People Who Want to Dress Up Their Human Babies Like Cabbage Patch Dolls
Illustration for article titled Sure Are A Lot of People Who Want to Dress Up Their Human Babies Like Cabbage Patch Dolls
Illustration for article titled Sure Are A Lot of People Who Want to Dress Up Their Human Babies Like Cabbage Patch Dolls

That’s a lot of options for people who to dress up their babies as Cabbage Patch Kids. And if you’re crafty yourself, you can get crochet patterns to make the wigs, as well as clothing patterns recycled from the great 1980s Cabbage Patch craze.

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Illustration for article titled Sure Are A Lot of People Who Want to Dress Up Their Human Babies Like Cabbage Patch Dolls

Anyway, all of these people are wrong. Put your baby in a pumpkin costume. Or a dinosaur costume. But mostly a pumpkin costume. I would, however, give good money to see Ted Cruz in one of those wigs.

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Contact the author at kelly@jezebel.com.

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DISCUSSION

mariemlodi
Marie Lodi

As a child I was always disturbed by every Cabbage Patch kid’s butt tattoo - the signature of their creator, XAVIER ROBERTS.