Supreme Court Rules Cheerleader Is Allowed to Say 'Fuck' When She Wants

Finally, the most supreme justice is being fucking served

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Image: Win McNamee (Getty Images)

There are some court cases that are so profoundly important, so life-altering, that they become an unforgettable part of American legal history. On Wednesday morning the Supreme Court delivered their ruling on, dare I say it, a landmark case of Former Cheerleader v. High School She No Longer Attends. NPR reports that when young heroine Brandi Levy was 14 years old and attending Mahanoy Area High School in Mahanoy, Pennsylvania, she posted a video on Snapchat in which she said “fuck this school, fuck cheer, fuck everything” after finding out she hadn’t been promoted to the school’s varsity cheer squad. As a woman of cheerleading experience, I understand this deep emotional pain. The school suspended Levy from the team, citing that her video was “disruptive behavior”—and her parents decided to disrupt right back by taking the issue to court.

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Initially, a federal court ruled in favor of the Levy family, stating that the school had no right to punish a student for off-campus behavior, which should have been the end of it. But not willing to take the L, the Mahanoy school board appealed the decision all the way up to the Supreme Court, proving they gave quite a few more fucks than Brandy did. The school argued that Levy’s video was still considered a disruption despite taking place off-campus and despite the fact that Brandy had already graduated and is now in college, hopefully screaming the word “fuck” at her leisure.

In an 8-1 decision handed down on Wednesday morning, the Supreme Court ruled that Brandi Levy’s video was not enough of a disruption to supersede her first amendment rights to free speech and told the school to sit the fuck down.

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This is arguably one of the most important things the Supreme Court has done in the year of our Lord 2021, and I personally cannot wait until Netflix releases an over-dramatized film of this event where Brandi Levy is written as a feminist hero. I really hope they call it She Fucking Persisted.

DISCUSSION

By
Muqaddimah (call me Muck)

Fuck this school...fuck everything”? OK, sure, fine. But “fuck cheer”?!?!? That is a fucking bridge too fucking far, young lady. Not in America. You take that leftist, communist, woke, critical race theory (I guess? I don’t actually know what that is but I’m told it’s killing America and making cheerleaders hate each other) bullshit and move to fucking Russia.

But seriously, if The Case of the Cursing Cheerleader warrants the time of your SC, how do you people get anything done down there?