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Super Smart Congressman Thinks Sex Ed Teaches Kids How to Bang

Illustration for article titled Super Smart Congressman Thinks Sex Ed Teaches Kids How to Bang

Republican Texas Congressman Louis Gohmert appeared on a conservative radio show yesterday to opine about crap about which he knows embarrassingly little (you know, customary right wing talk radio stuff). And when the subject of sex education in schools came up, the charter member of the House Douchebag Caucus's ignorance didn't disappoint! Turns out, Rep. Louis Gohmert thinks that sex ed is a thing that instructs The Children on how to have sex.


The money quote that follows occurred during a discussion of the Southern Poverty Law Center, a left wing group that Gohmert thinks might be a terrorist organization because people who disagree with Louis Gohmert are America-hating terrorists. Anyway, as conversations about the SPLC tend to do, talk veered to kids' genitals. Take it away, Congressman,

Let the kids be innocent. Let them dream. Let them play. Let them enjoy their life. You don't have to force this sexuality stuff into their life at such a point. It was never intended to be that way. They'll find out soon enough. And, in fact, ... mankind has existed for a pretty long time without anyone ever having to give a sex-ed lesson to anybody. And now we feel like, oh gosh, people are too stupid to unless we force them to sit and listen to instructions.


Does this mean I should scrap my idea for Cosmo Kidz! magazine and its Schools Out for Summer color-by-numbers blow job tips spectacular? I was going to sell it in book orders, Gohmert! BOOK ORDERS!

Letting kids figure it out for themselves sounds like a great idea if the world we existed in resembled the good old days that only exist on TV Land and in the 1950's nuclear family sitcom that plays on an eternal loop in Rep. Louis Gohmert's imagination.

But the reality is states that don't require sex ed have higher rates of teen pregnancy and STD's and a whole host of other problems that happen when we let kids remain innocent until they innocently fuck up. That's how episodes of Teen Mom are made. And we all know how that turned out.

[Right Wing Watch]

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"They'll find out soon enough."

Yep, that attitude is exactly why there are a dismaying number of adult people - most of them sexually active - who still have no idea how their own bodies work. Because it's not just a matter of "durr hurr penis goes in vagina baby comes out," it's a matter of knowing how to take care of your own health and life and make informed decisions. Everyone goes "NOOOO DON'T TALK TO KIDS ABOUT SEX, LET THEM BE KIDS," and then it's "NOOOO DON'T TALK TO TEENS ABOUT SEX, IT WILL ENCOURAGE THEM TO HAVE SEX," and then when they're adults somehow they're supposed to magically know it all, even though they've never been shown how to put a condom on correctly or told that douching to get the sperm out doesn't prevent pregnancy or informed that yes, you can pee with a tampon in because pee doesn't come out of your vagina. And you get elected representatives claiming that women's bodies can "shut down" pregnancy in the event of rape, that a rape kit swab will "clean out" a woman's reproductive system, that pap smears can be done at Walgreen's, and that health complications from pregnancy almost never happens.