'Super Humble' Rami Malek Ate Dinner Alone Yesterday and Yet, When I Do It, No One Writes Shit

Illustration for article titled 'Super Humble' Rami Malek Ate Dinner Alone Yesterday and Yet, When I Do It, No One Writes Shit
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According to some groundbreaking reporting from our friends at Page Six, Rami Malek was caught dining alone at “the bar of new Chelsea hotspot La Central in Hotel Americano on Monday.” He “enjoyed ceviche, pork tacos and brussels sprouts while sipping on a glass of Vinyes Singulars.” A source said, “He dined alone” and “was super humble and wonderful with the staff.”

To which I say—where is my article for eating alone? Or yours? Here are some alternative blog ideas, from me to you:

  • PHILADELPHIA, PA: Michelle, 29, a hard-working millennial, decided to stop by her local Irish pub to watch the game and eat french fries for dinner after work. She went home happy and beer full. A source said, “She was drunk and kind and bought me a round.”
  • CHARLOTTE, NC: Michael, 45, desperate for some hush puppys and fried shrimp, swung by his neighborhood takeaway spot, Price’s Chicken Coop, and shoved that shit into his mouth before he even go to his truck. An onlooker said, “Wow, so relatable. That is also how I feel about food.”
  • PHOENIX, AZ: Abigail, 69, hasn’t been adjusting to retirement well. She decided to live a little, and go to Durant’s, a steakhouse she’s heard her daughter mention once or twice. After a single glass of wine and an order of au gratin potatoes, she decided to call it a day. The waiter said, “She was sweet, tired, and I’d love to serve her again.”

For what it’s worth, I’ve seen three episodes of Mr. Robot. In terms of duration, that’s much longer than how much of Bohemian Rhapsody anyone could sit through. He’s a loner character in my brain, and now I know he’s a loner character in real life.

[Page Six]

Illustration for article titled 'Super Humble' Rami Malek Ate Dinner Alone Yesterday and Yet, When I Do It, No One Writes Shit
Image: Getty

In a new interview with Essence, Diddy discusses life after Kim Porter’s untimely death with dream hampton. It’s really powerful stuff, especially when he mentions the last words she told him:

dream hampton: ESSENCE has made a historic—and possibly controversial—decision to put a man on the cover in celebration of Mother’s Day. This isn’t so much about you as a single father but as a tribute to Kim Porter. Her sudden passing affected people in such a profound way. Talk to us about that day, please.

Sean “Puff” Combs: It’s a testament to who Kim was, how she touched people, the grace and poise she had, the way she changed a room as soon as she entered. She was unforgettable. That day turned my world upside down. Three days before she passed, she wasn’t feeling well. She had the flu, and she sent the kids over to my house so they wouldn’t get sick. One night I was checking on her, and she was like, “Puffy, take care of my babies.” She actually said that to me before she died.




  • Anna Wintour chowed down on some chili during the intermission of “Oklahoma!” Celebrities, they’re just like us. [Page Six]
  • Jordyn Woods feels as though she was “bullied by the word” during all the Tristan Thompson bullshit, and she ain’t wrong. [People]
  • Jenna Bush Hager had an ectopic pregnancy. “There is joy and there is pain,” she said. [Entertainment Tonight]
  • Anne Hathaway ended her veganism at a seafood-heavy a Michelin-star restaurant in Iceland. Can’t say I blame her. “So I had a piece of salmon and my brain felt like a computer rebooting,” she said, accidentally dissing vegans everywhere. [Us Magazine]
  • Dr. Ruth is thrilled she doesn’t have to date as a millennial because we’ve “lost the art of conversation because everyone is on their phone... What that will lead to, which is serious—is a lot of loneliness.” Thanks, doctor. [Page Six]

URL: Senior Writer, Jezebel. IRL: Author of the very good book 'LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands from NKOTB to BTS,' out now.

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So Jenna Bush Hager HAD A LIFE-SAVING ABORTION and still refuses to acknowledge it that way? Cool cool cool.