Sunday Sign-Off: Who'd You Rather?

Illustration for article titled Sunday Sign-Off: Whod You Rather?

I think we all know that tonight's Great Television Deathmatch between the Game of Thrones premiere and The Walking Dead finale comes down to one simple question. Then again, who said Peter Dinklage and Norman Reedus wouldn't be down for an epic ménage?


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Jesus gawd am I more depressed than ever. My oblivious partner just informed me that we won't actually be able to get married until my debt is cleared up, which, since I'm unemployed, is looking difficult. But his bankers insist, so, a month after he finds this out, I learn that there is absolutely no way we can set a wedding date within the year. After, mind you, I've brought it up to him numerous times, asking when he thought a good date might be, since we've been engaged for six months already and haven't even started to pin one down.

I'm wondering at this point if my debt will be passed on to my parents if I die. It is such a pussy cop out, but I've just wanted to end it for so long; not knowing that is the only thing stopping me. My partner will be better off: his mom thinks I'm a lazy slacker, and his brother thinks I'm too supportive. I mean, he just lost his dad in January anyway (on my birthday, so we can't really ever celebrate it again, according to him), and I, unemployed and in debt, can't throw him the giant surprise 30th birthday party he wanted. He was really pissed because he expected it would just continue as planned, even though his mother said she refuses to plan anything in the next year. I have to find a job, get out of debt, plan, finance, and throw a lavish bash worthy of his royal spoiled rotteness, plan a wedding, figure out where it will be, find lawyers for both of us for the prenup, deal with the handful of family members I have who are declining rapidly, all while not costing my broke parents any money. I can't do it. I just can't. It's too much. I've disappointed my parents, I've let everyone else down, and I'm a complete failure. On the other hand, it'd probably be rude to off myself the day before my appointment with my shrink, especially because I owe her money, too. Oh well. Might as well live, perhaps.