Sunday Sign Off: Happy Birthday, Tina Knowles

Happy Birthday to Tina Knowles, aka The One True Supreme. This Sunday night open threatd belongs to her as we celebrate both her birth and her ascension into the status of Everything.

I'd like to take this opportunity to point out I own a dress from one of Tina Knowles' fashion collections and I look FANTASTIC in it. It is one of my favorite dresses ever and I bow down to her for making a dress that simultaneously makes my ass and breasts look perfect. That is all.

Also, this isn't a true "sign off" as I will be with you for the rest of the night. Let your open thread commence!

Share This Story

Get our newsletter


How did you Jezzies deal with families that forced religion on you when you were a minor? I'm a junior in high school and I've been just waiting it out until I can leave for college and do my own thing. It's pretty much always been a tough situation for me, because my mom is a Scandinavian Lutheran that's not really into the religion thing and converted so she could marry my dad in the Coptic Orthodox Church. Here is what you should know about it, since most have never heard of it.

1) It's a purely Egyptian form of Christianity. It's expanded but doesn't really get much publicity which sucks because then somebody else might get annoyed at their shit (like this:…) other than me.

2) Women make Coptic babies and cook food. All priests, deacons, etc. are male.

3) The church is very traditional and resembles the Catholic church in many aspects. All liturgies and other services are scripted except for maybe 10-20 minutes out of 2-3 hours(which for most of the time you must be standing), and many of the texts date back several hundred years. Usually the services are in Arabic with a smattering of Coptic, a variant of Ancient Greek. There are so many stupid little rules that drive me insane. Women have to cover their heads during communion and remove any lipstick, legs may not be crossed under ANY circumstances in the building, gum must not be chewed after communion, you must fast for 7 hours before communion, the list goes on.

So church is basically a compromise my mom makes to make my dad happy, and before a few months ago we would drive an hour to the nearest church every other sunday. I'm an agnostic atheist. I think everything that is going around me is bullshit. I will respect you and whatever your religion is, but I've had it with this church. I decided in the beginning of high school that I would just get through it until I graduated.

But now there is a church where I live. In the past week, I have gone to two services, one of which was on NYE, and had a priest (that spoke maybe 20 words in English) stay at my house and "blessed" it. I'm supposed to go to another service on Tuesday.

So I'm asking, after all this, what the hell I can do to make it another year and a half? I just don't want to end up doing something stupid and disrespectful like start screaming obscenities while the priest is praying over the holy bread or do a spit take with the wine right into his face. I'm actually scared I might do these things or worse. I just got my driver's license, so the best thing I can think of so far is to make up obligations I have for school related activities or actually seek out clubs that do things on saturday mornings(when church usually is because of course). It's childish, but I'm at my wit's end.