Summer 2016 Is the Summer of Frosé

As a woman slurred in my face last weekend, “It’s the season for rosé!” Close, but not quite: it’s frosé season, pals.

Every type of drunk is different. Red wine is melancholy, champagne giddy, and rosé knocks you on your fucking face. For a long time I worked as a caterer and wine flowed freely, if illicitly. Nothing’s more beautiful than helping someone celebrate their special day—especially when you’re barely able to hold up a family size plate of gnocchi because you’ve had an entire bottle of pink wine.

Now, I no longer need to inhale an overflowing glass while my captain’s back is turned, and can maturely sip on the rooftop bar of my choosing, but that’s boring. Let’s make something disgusting (frozen, plus sugar) instead. This Frosé recipe from Bon Appétit begins as you might imagine, with you freezing a bottle of “full-flavored, full-bodied, dark-colored rosé.” Yum.


What’s next? Sugar. This momma bee likes it sweet:

Meanwhile, bring sugar and ½ cup water to a boil in a medium saucepan; cook, stirring constantly, until sugar dissolves, about 3 minutes. Add strawberries, remove from heat, and let sit 30 minutes to infuse syrup with strawberry flavor. Strain through a fine-mesh sieve into a small bowl (do not press on solids); cover and chill until cold, about 30 minutes.

You then put all that plus ice and frozen rosé into a blender and voila! An alcoholic beverage for an adult who will never grow up. I am officially declaring “Frozé” the Song of Summer.

Contributing Writer, writing my first book for the Dial Press called The Lonely Hunter, follow me on Twitter @alutkin

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darleeeeeene aka deraaiilleeeeeene

I have a hot taek.

Frozen drinks are for wimps.

I don’t think its legally possible to get drunk on frozen margaritas (I’m not even broaching the froze)