Study Finds That Social Media Is Becoming Way Sexier than Sex

Illustration for article titled Study Finds That Social Media Is Becoming Way Sexier than Sex

A study — oh goody! — hot and fresh and maybe gooey out of the University of Chicago's social sciences oven has revealed, in so many words, that sex is becoming obsolete. That's right — a whole generation of young people are, rather than co-mingling their various mucuses, plugging themselves into the cavernous echo chamber that is social media because social media's seductiveness is, quite simply, more powerful than sex.

At least, that's what seven consecutive days and interviews with 250 undergraduate participants suggested to researchers, who found that, though the urge to have sex is stronger, people are more likely to succumb to the urge to float around on the social media lazy river by checking Twitter and Facebook, the two most alluring internet sirens around. This weakness for social media, explained Hofstra University professor Jamie Cohen, has a lot to do with how easy and accessible social media is. "If you had a window in your house," said Cohen, "imagine just never trying to look out of it. So they feel it's there, they have to look at it." Metaphor received, processed, and appreciated, Professor — social media is just always around, down to eyefuck anyone with a reliable internet connection.

The study also found that the more people tried to ignore the buzz of a social media gadfly, the stronger the urge to swat it became, because even the mere thought that any of us could be missing someone's "Making chocolate chip Eggos, then gonna watch Deadwood straight thru in my underpants" status update is simply maddening.


Study: young people inclined to choose social media over sex [CBS New York]

Image via gladcov/Shutterstock.

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Somehow this seems legit. I was sitting in a bar the other day checking a text message when I realized I must look like some sort of asshole ordering from the bartender while looking at my phone. So I put it away got my drink and proceeded to that nearly 20 something people out of about 50 were on their phones the entire time I was there.

Couples not even talking to one another, Friends sitting side by side checking their facebooks, An entire group sitting there with ipads and iphones not even looking at one another. Just reaching up and blindly groping around for their beer.

It was unsettling.